Wan Lili
This is why communication adn clarity is so important. Even if you're scared of the answer, it is still very important to ask and confirm. Not knowing/assuming/guessing is gonna hurt already anyway, might as well just ask right? You've already assumed the worst and hurt yourself, there's nothing more to lose. Sometimes fiction novels are ridiculous, even nonsensical, but there's always something you can take away from it. Let this be one!