cier_Tempest
The_Anime_Gamer_7929:can you explain it a bit more are you rewriting this story but better or are you making something else entirely because this was my first novel I ever spent coins on and one of my favorite so I hope is the former
Don’t worry. You have real talent and I really hope to see Markus develop. Only things in this story that left me kinda sad were things I have to admit were perfectly within Markus’ will(exploding the ancient factory instead of erasing all their files on biographies and whatever means to immortalize their people) and only things that’d bother ME specifically. The only major plot hole was that the ancient factory likely had better research on magitech in all manner of ways(from materials for novices and for experts) than Fanosha ever would(or at least his new ally could mentor him) and the only reason for him to go there would be to understand their full development level, disable weapons from the government and of Executor’s operations that would be too troublesome, get some materials and equipment that could be useful, find people to collect abilities from, and people to recruit(people like his bookkeeper who he needs for his passive resources and people like Sophia that he wants to not have bad opinions of him and have abilities she shouldn’t copy due to how impractical or dangerous that may be) and the minor task of training his performance in magic dampening situations(sharpshooting and full physical combat). So it would still give him plenty of reasons to go there but a detail that would be welcome would be chapters about the characters that are too young to influence the plot(like the boy hero and the saint) and the characters that are part of Markus’ network of restaurants and other businesses.