Comments of chapter undefined of Once Human, Now a Parasite
Once Human, Now a Parasite
TheCrow
Chapter comments75
Luft_Rauser:5 yr ago? Really? .. Well duck me, that's a long time ago .. How do you do mate. Hope you are doing well
I like the story so far but there are a few problems: 1) The Romance is way too forced. He was betrayed by someone he loved because he trusted her too easily. He swears revenge and to never trust anyone ever again. One month later, aight darling, let me tell you everything about me... I feel that this was very forced. It breaks the character that you were trying to build in the prologue and chapter 1. 2) I don't see the reason why he got mad at the prince. Sure the prince is cutting line but is the MC an elementary schooler that has to fight because someone cut in front of him? I thought he wanted to be lowkey and nothing screams lowkey like telling off an arrogant prince. 3) I liked the part in the beginning where he gave Lucy a cloak so that they don't attract attention. Why did you remove that? I feel that if both characters where cloaks, they will be a lot more lowkey. This will save a lot of cliche developments. I don't want to bash this novel because i understand the amount of effort you must hav put in making this, but I just want to say that nobody likes a cliche. 4) I'm glad to see he put the skill point in the godly fire instead of void. The logic used here was pretty good since i barely ever find a system novel that follows it. Put 'rare skill points' into high level/ max skills. Glad you did this, so good job! 5) Regarding the rape thing, nt my favorite part of the story but it is understandable. if she is tortured and raped, it makes sense. Some people may not like it but I think it is ok for the female lead to be rape victim. at least i think this is better than having an ex who got her virginity. In the case of rape, she didn't have a choice (by definition of rape) so it is ok. 6) I don't see why both he and she is acting all cheerful and all so quickly. Trauma like theirs doesn't just go away so easily. She should have stayed cold. Moreover, she was raped for 2 years (if im not wrong), so it doesn't make sense for her to blush after they hug or hold hands. I'd like to conclude by saying that I am not trying to bash you Author. I liked the story so far and I will try to continue. I am trying to offer constructive criticism and give my reasoning for why I found certain parts of the story disappointing. So, don't get discouraged by my negative review. I hope you keep up the good work. P.S. I understand that you are like 500+ chapters in, but i suggest you make a re-write of the first few chapters if you have the time. Looking at the comments, it seems a lot of people are dropping your novel for these mistakes that can be fixed. Just my opinion tho. Anyways Good Luck Author!
Why in the f word is the author of this book keep on telling me that he did not want to bring his girl. I know that they are forced into this Romance so it would be weird for them I just do this crap already but the Arthur does not have to keep on mentioning it. It's normal for two people to actually over time get to the point where they are okay with doing intimate acts with each other. So stop mentioning it! it doesn't make him a hero. It make him seem more like a b**** to me anyways. ( commenters note) I think it makes him more of a b**** because what man doesn't think of doing sexual things to his women or any other women.when yes lady around. Yes he could not act on his desires but s*** they try to make him seem like he's some sort of castrated Monk
Ok ..... I will confess that the prechap was not to liking and for that i said some fk **** things to you..... though for the mc i ain't changing that but for you author..... I very sorry for my rushed judge..... Please forgive me....from now i will fully try to understand then will comment.....but for the mc being a **** for somethings I ain't changing that as well.... And again sry....đđ
