17. Chapter 17: Hermione

Wheeee! So many nice comments for chapter 16. :D I'm so glad that more people are reading my fanfic, and that old readers are still reading. Hehe.

Here's chapter 17 (with ze french kissie, which I know you're all looking forward to). Enjoy!

& let's get on with...

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10 Ways to Kill Draco Malfoy

Chapter 17

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HERMIONE

Hm. Surprisingly, Malfoy hasn't tried to kill me for doing all that to him. If anything, he is mellower than before (my plans must have helped!), though 'mellow' isn't exactly a good word to describe him. Apart from the small fight at the Greenhouse, nothing much as happened.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Have I finally broken him in? I really don't think so. In fact, if I know Malfoy, then he's probably saving all his insults for something really big.

Last night, though, he did something that amazed me - he asked me to meet him somewhere, and he actually did it nicely, without threats or seduction. Well, apart from the Mudblood bit, but I'm used to that from him. It's getting a bit old, because he doesn't usually say it like he used to. It's more like a bad nickname now. Ewwww. Malfoy giving me nicknames. Rather yuck to think about.

I wonder what he's got planned for me... but whatever it is, it's probably revenge. Ha! If he tries anything, I'll hex the shit - sorry for the bad language, people - out of his sorry arse. And while I'm meeting him, I might as well perform the next plan (this one will hopefully agonize him so much that he'll want to stay in the Hospital Wing for a long time).

--- Plan 5: Kick Malfoy in the crotch

When: During our meeting

Why: For my list, of course. I have loads left to do.

How: Um, does this even need an explanation? Locate crotch, lift foot, kick as hard as possible. Enjoy shriek of pain and run off before the victim can cast Avada Kedavra on you.

The next day passes in a blur. I can remember vague bits of it, like when Ron got hung upside-down for trying to feed the giant squid one of my old house elf hats (I had to give up knitting them because of my contract with Harry and Ron, but they haven't really been a great help...), and when Ginny and Harry were practically hugging each other, they were laughing so hard. Me, I was pursing my lips and muttering about how I would get Ron back as I retrieved the soggy hat from near the squid's mouth. Eventually after that, Ron was released and the squid sank back under the surface, with something close to amusement on its face.

Dinnertime soon comes, and throughout the whole meal Harry and Ron try to talk me out of meeting Malfoy. "For all you know, he could rape and murder you!" Harry yells. Several people turn to stare at him. He blushes but still gazes at me fiercely. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to go, Hermione. It's not safe. Especially in the hardly-used hallways around the Transfiguration room... if you scream, I bet no one will hear you."

I roll my eyes. "You've been watching way too many dark Muggle movies, Harry. Don't worry. I can take him on. After all, I'm not dumb enough to go there unprepared, without my wand."

Ginny nods. "Yeah. You know 'Mione, she's got a bank of curses and hexes she can perform in the blink of an eye. Malfoy and anyone else with him wouldn't stand a chance if they tried anything on her."

I beam at her. "See? Even Ginny knows. So you guys should have all realized that by now."

"But..." Ron falters when he sees the stony look on my face. "Well, alright. Just let us tag behind you and watch. If anything happens and you can't handle them on your own, you know we'll be there to help you out." He shudders slightly at what Harry had said. "Don't worry... we won't let him rape and murder you, 'Mione! We'll kick his ferret ass before he can get his hands on you."

"Thanks, guys." I smile at my friends, feeling extremely glad that I have such great friends.

As I walk towards the Transfiguration class, I start wondering about Malfoy's transformation during the summer. What had happened to make him so good-looking now, so much that nearly every girl in the whole school was falling head over heels for just a second look at him? So many girls gathered around him at mealtimes to flirt and giggle with him that the Slytherins were constantly scowling (even more than before - yes, I know, unbelievable) because they couldn't find places to sit and get to the food.

Had he gone through plastic surgery in the holidays? Nah, I don't think so. I doubt purebloods like him would ever do anything vaguely Muggle-ish, apart from maybe beauty treatments...

Wait. Isn't plastic surgery considered a form of beauty treatment? Oh God. My head is so full of random thoughts. It's probably better if I just ask him, rather than go through all the possibilities. And like they say, sometimes the truth is even more wild than fiction.

"What are you thinking, 'Mione?" comes a voice from behind me. I nearly scream as someone bumps into my back. "Ouch! Too close."

I spin around to see Harry, Ron and Ginny tailing me - about a metre away. "Not that close!" I yell. "I said you could tag behind me, but I didn't say you were meant to follow me like a trail of ants! Get back around the corner, we're nearly there. If you three are in view, Malfoy won't tell me what he was meaning to."

"Since when did you care what Malfoy says?" grumbles Ron, but he obeys me and disappears around the previous corner and flashes me a thumbs-up. I take that as a sign that I can start moving again and quickly walk towards the Transfiguration classroom.

To my surprise, Malfoy is already there. He is leaning against the wall next to the door, and looking extremely hot.

Gah! What am I thinking? Ferret-thing, hot! That is something Pansy would say, but not me. I shake my head quickly.

Malfoy spots me as I approach. He gives me a lazy smile. "So. You did come. Brave of you, H- Granger."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Who said you could start calling me by my first name?"

"Who said I was calling you by your first name?" he scowls, running a hand through his messy but sexy hair.

STOP IT! Stop thinking like that!

"OK. Save the insults for later. But first, I want to ask you a question." I take a deep breath. "How come your looks changed so much during the summer? Before, no girl would look twice at you - apart from Pansy - but now you've got them lined up at your door. Did you have plastic surgery? Cosmetic spells? What?" Alright, so that part about the girls looking twice at him isn't exactly true. He'd already had loads of girlfriends and admirers before, but compared to now, the amount is measly.

He laughs, and glances around the hallway quickly. I can hardly believe I'm actually having a sane and completely polite conversation with Malfoy, but I guess there's a first time for everything. And why's he looking around so nervously? "You want to know?" he asks.

I scowl. "If I didn't, would I have asked? Really - that was such a dumb question."

"Fine, don't get snappy, or I won't give you an answer." He sighs. "Alright. Listen up. You know my name, Draco?"

I nod. "Yeah." I want to make a smart reply but I decide now is not the time for it.

"It means dragon. Not that you didn't know that already... know-it-all," he sneers, but continues the explanation quickly when I give him a powerful glare. "I was named that because of a certain drink that I was fed when I was born. Three guesses what it was."

I think for a moment. "Dragon pee?"

He looks outraged. "What the fuck! Hell, no! That's one. Two more guesses."

"I know, I know. I was just playing dumb. Dragon blood, right?"

He nods. "Yes. You know the effects it has on babies. Well, what it really does is do what the parents wish for the child's appearance. My parents wished for me to grow normally until I was 16. Then, my looks would become the best that it could with my current genes." He pauses when he sees my eyes widen. "You understood that, right?"

"Of course," I scoff, folding my arms. "I read about dragon blood and its uses and effects in Of Dragonlore and Dragonbane, a book I got from Professor Sprout."

Malfoy rolls his eyes. "I should have known. There probably hasn't been a book that you haven't dug your nose into."

I look offended at his remark. "Hey, at least that means I have something between my ears. Get on with the story."

"Alright, alright." He glances around again before speaking. "However, soon after the transformation last summer, mother and father realized that the dragon blood had been a waste of galleons. A friend of theirs, who could predict what someone would look like in the future, told them that I looked exactly like I should have. My current image was what she had seen me like on my 17th birthday, after looking into the future for me a few years back."

I slowly acknowledge this. "Ah. A witch gifted with foresight. Too bad they can't look into the future and see what you'll do for a living. I'd love to know."

"You know they can't do that. If they do, they'd be meddling with fate and choosing your path for you. And if you didn't follow the path they made for you, then many others would have been affected by your choice." Malfoy shrugs. "It's complicated. That's why many witches and wizards who have foresight choose to ignore the ability and let it recede with age."

"I... see. So that's why," I murmur. "You reached the height of your physical appearance earlier than you should have."

"That's right. And that means, I'll also preserve it for longer," he adds. "That's about the only good thing about wishing with dragon blood."

I start to giggle. He glares at me, with a questioning look. "That means you'll have girls all over you for longer!" I say, grinning. "I can imagine it now... 'Draco Malfoy, one of the most sought after men in the wizarding world, has sadly perished because he was ambushed by a hoard of screaming fangirls, who promptly suffocated him by non-stop kissing.'"

He does the finger, but then he sees someone coming behind me and freezes. I hear him taking out his wand and muttering something. "Heyy... you're not going to try and hex me, are you?" I demand, and something shuffles in the corner where my friends are hiding. "'Cos I hope you're not stupid enough to try that again." I start to take out my wand.

Malfoy rolls his eyes at me. "Honestly, Pansy, you know you can't hex me, baby. Hello, Blaise. Here she is." He smirks at me. "Pansy, you're in for a treat."

Blaise Zabini, one of the more popular and handsome Slytherins (too bad he swings both ways), smiles and stands a bit away from us, a eager look on his face. "Well. Then you might as well get started, Draco," he says quietly. Then he turns to me, and smiles. "Hello, Pansy. This is gonna be great to watch. Hah!"

I stare at him. "Huh?" I manage to croak. "I'm no-"

But before I can manage anything else, Malfoy is upon me, his lips locking with mine in a deep kiss. My eyes widen and I stare at him as he pulls me towards him and puts one hand on the back of my head, in my hair, and the other around my back. I struggle a bit, but he chose his arm positions well and firmly stops my squirming. "Don't move, Granger," he hisses as we pause a second for breath, and then he kisses me again.

Behind me, I can hear someone swearing under their breath, and the sound of fighting. Oh, no! Maybe it is Harry and them. If they are still watching, then they should have knocked Malfoy out as soon as he put his mouth on mine, but I can't feel anyone trying to pull me away from him.

And as much as I hate to say it - Malfoy is a great kisser and I am in girl heaven. I mean, who wouldn't want to be kissed by the Slytherin sex god, even if they are one of his greatest enemies?

However, all my fluffy girly thoughts disappear when he forces open my lips. At first, I don't think much of it, but when he starts to put his tongue into my mouth, I suppress a scream and struggle harder than ever. But to no avail - he is much too strong, and he looks as though he is vaguely enjoying it. Blaise whistles and claps. Malfoy doesn't stop and continues playing tongue tennis for another whole minute.

When my tongue gets too tired from trying to force his out (and thus looking as though I am responding to his french kiss), I suddenly remember my plan. Of course! My arms may be trapped, but my legs aren't. I glance sideways to see that Blaise looks as though he is thoroughly enjoying the scene and is standing with a big smirk on his face. Ha. He won't be smirking for long. And as much as I hate - er, love to disrupt the show, I have to do it.

I loosen my tongue and Malfoy pauses for breath. Quickly I take this moment to pull back and perform a spectacular kick to his crotch. His eyes widen in pain and he doubles over, groaning. "Ooooooaaaaaouuuughhh... oooooohhh fuck that hurts... GRANGER! Get your ass back here!" he howls, and Blaise quickly rushes over to help him. "Why... you little..."

I grin at him. Blaise looks very confused. "Granger? Isn't that Pansy you were kissing?" A moment later, he suddenly smiles as the answer dawns on him. "Ahhh, of course. Granger's been hurting you so much that whenever you're in pain, the first name you curse is hers! Oh, you poor thing, you."

I nearly fall over after hearing his reasoning. "Er, yes! Poor Draco! Hahaha. Hehehe. Um, got to go now! Bye, folks!"

Blaise stares at me as he helps Malfoy up. Draco has a murderous look on his face as he groans and bends over again. "Pansy's acting rather strange today... sure you took all your medicine this morning, Parkinson?"

"Of course," I roll my eyes and quickly rush off before Blaise can suspect anything else. So Draco had cast a concealing spell on me before Blaise had seen me. Clever of him. Blaise thought he was snogging Pansy, when really it was me under the concealment. I don't know why Draco didn't just go and find the real Parkinson, but I don't blame him for not wanting to kiss her. I mean, Pansy is the sluttiest girl in Hogwarts, and everyone knows it. A mere kiss with her could turn into a full-on shagging session, especially when it comes to someone like Malfoy.

And yes. I am going to call him Draco from now on. Malfoy is such a mouthful, and... well, I think the name 'dragon' suits him better.

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OK people... I admit, I don't have any experience in kissing, therefore I do not know how to describe a french kiss. Sorry if it was too vague or not quite right. You'll have to make do with that description in this chapter. :D

Apart from that... I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Gee, I can tell this story is going to be long... there's still five whole ways to go! Oh well. Please don't stop reading, everyone, or I don't think I can finish this.

Thank you! -Hugs and kisses-

PS: Is Blaise Zabini a girl or a boy? I'm pretty sure he's a boy. But some people said Blaise is a girl. O.o Which is s/he? And if there's proof of whatever gender s/he may be in the book, can you please point it out to me?