16. Lost lights

Karis was seated in carriage and upon her request all windows were darkened. There were no horses, just a black cloud underneath and she didn't want to see any views due to fear of heights. Azeroth travelled nearby giving her all privacy she needed, when she landed suddenly a chill went through her body. Anxiety crept up freezing her, she started hyperventilating and had to grip on curtain to not faint. When they landed she was still unwell, panic traumatized her. Azeroth leaned in the carriage, he was in his real body and couldn't see anything, but he felt shiver coming from her. -Are you ok? - his blind eyes stared in distance not even in her direction. -No,- she whimpered and wrapped her hands around his neck. Muscular and strong body provided her some support to lean in, his dark hair created somewhat of curtain from the world and feather tuffs softly tickled her cheek. He wrapped his hands around her tightly hugging woman. There was no need for words or explanations, fragile human mind couldn't really grasp the idea of being in other dimension full of fairy-tale creatures that aren't as friendly as it seems. They stood like this for good 10 minutes until she calmed down, as Ullmons guardian was waiting for them to come forth, Ghost quietly explained the situation giving them as much time as needed. Like child going to school she held demons hand firmly walking towards other demon, who looked less friendly than any she had met before. He looked at her heart and his guardian announced his name, status and title, Ghost did the same, presenting Karis as a censer protector. It felt weird and unnatural for her. Goosebumps were all over her body with flashes of cold chills running up and down her spine. Azeroth couldn't help her to get rid of the fear, but he did everything he can to make her feel a bit more comfortable. He took off his rather heavy cape full of his warmth and placed it on her shoulders making sure its not too heavy. She closed her eyes taking few deep breaths as warmth and pressure helped her to calm down a little. -Please, follow me to the soul well,- said the guardian looking at Karis. As they walked she now dared to look around, the whole environment, the ruins of a castle, a demon with terrible scars over his throat gave impression of a terrible loss,- my Lady if i may ask, if you see Marie, tell her we miss her,- Karis nodded a bit confused at little brown rabbit request. 

They led her to a well in the middle of room and now there was a crystal. She looked at Azeroth questioning silently, since she saw same one in his room, and in the corner of this castle. -Its like a capsule to protect your body. We cant interfere with this, and we will not be able to hear what you will be talking with past censers. This is a rule for us to not meddle with holy weapon. Your decision must come from you, but don't worry, what ever happens, i will help you and protect you,- he smiled softly stroking her check, she looked away.-All right, lets do this,- she took several deep breaths and nodded.-I am ready. Ghost and Ullmons guardian helped Karis to take cape off, carefully holding her hands get up to the crystal to and lay down on it. It felt weird, because young woman expected some hard, cold, uncomfortable stone, but it didn't felt hard, nor uncomfortable. the stone itself was rather warm. She shivered at first but then her body got accustomed to temperature. Only time when Karis actually freaked out when a see thorough lid was pushed on top, but she heard Azeroths voice. -Relax, i am here for you,- he smiled looking somewhere far away.-I command you to protect me and assure me there will be no harm to me,- she said and noticed a golden chain locking his wrist. -I will do everything you ask. Now please relax,- she was taking deep breaths looking into his face. There was not a hint of malice, even Ghost looked calm like it was just a regular thing. Therefore soon the warmth of crystal and lack of sounds made her sleepy again, she could swear there were fumes inside the crystal, which made her drowsy but Azeroth cant break this curse. All is fine. At least that's what she told to herself.

As she drifted to forced sleep, she felt like floating, as if crystal suddenly turned liquid, at the beginning it was absolute silence, but soon she heard whispers that soon became louder and louder and as Karis opened her eyes she saw stars.

She was laying on seemingly glass surface that reflected all lights in the sky, purple, blue and green northern lights travelled across the sky dispersing and coming back together, sometimes a shooting star would pass by disappearing into nothingness, the only light source was her body as floor has lighted with white light where she was laying.

A white orb of a tennis ball size has formed, then another, until 10 of them surrounded her, they all formed into beautiful young maidens of different ages, one of them barely looked 16, where the oldest seemingly was in her 40ties. All emitted bright pure light and looked so joyful. 

-A new censer!- clapped her hands one, while other touched her hair with warm hand which still sent cold shivers down Karis spine.

-You are so gorgeous!- said the youngest one. 

-We are happy to see you,- another smiled, they all said their welcomes, and as woman was turning around she saw one orb still floating, it wasnt as bright as others, even more grey, but other censers quickly turned her attention back to them with all praises.

-Hello, my name is Karis, and i guess i am new censer,- she smiled a bit awkwardly. Yet the tone of the girls hasn't changed, they cheerfully praised her calling her by her name now. It took Karis a moment to remember why she was there, though everything she had left in real world felt more like a foggy dream she once had. For first time in her life, the mind was clear, np worries, no burdens, just peace and calm.

-I...I need your help. I don't know what to do,- they all silenced waiting for her to continue,- I don't I was told i am this Censer being, that i need to stop goddess of plague, but i don't even know what to do,- all girls around her exchanged sorry looks. For a second there was silence, then the oldest and the youngest stepped out. 

-Being a censer is a gift. Don't think of it as something to stop goddesses, think of it as the most pure healing magic. You have a power to cleanse world from pain, from disease. 

-But then why everyone want me to be this saviour of humanity?

-Because you are one. Once you learn how to use it, then you can stop her. but in the mean time you need to learn how to summon it. Now, open your heart and imagine that you have little censer inside of you. It is guarded by a cage, so open it up as well, it is very easy,- Karis looked at them nodding trying to take mental notice, she wished for a note pad or something to write down the instructions, but then realized, everyone is waiting for her to actually summon the censer. 

Karis closed her eyes and nodded. The older woman patiently repeated the instructions. In this plane, her mind was clear, there were no burdens and it seemed so easy to materialize a little silver box something like from those ASMR videos she enjoyed watching. As she tried to reach it, there was some force round it not letting her pass. She saw a cage, but that wasnt it. 

-There is a force around it, i cant reach it,- she said frowning and all censers looked at each other. 

-My dear i think your heart is closed, you don't trust it,- Karis nervously chuckled opening her eyes.

-Of course i don't trust my heart. It is impulsive, childish, makes me do nonsensical things. I have followed my heart when i was younger and it led me to it being broken,- she frowned,- world is different now, the times are also different. Heart has no meaning in modern society,- all maidens looked at each other worried. 

-You must open your heart, you must want to help people from your heart, only then you can unlock it,- said youngest, she put her hands for prayer and when orange light formed around the she guided it towards her heart.-Try again, i will help you.

Karis felt warmth and safety. She genuely tried, but suddenly youngest one jumped away breaking contact.

-She is like Marie, she wields a weapon,- all of then gasped in terror and parted so Karis could see last light. She was a bit confused due to such reaction, she didn't carry any weapons, she didn't even knew how to use them.

Grey orb formed into woman, who looked at her with sadness in her eyes. She wasnt human, but was the only one like this among all of them.

Woman proclaimed to be Marie has massive white wings on her back, they were taller than her, but still dragged along on the ground, her face was naturally beautiful and angelic, and eyes seemed to be full of stars. She turned at Karis and looked at others. 

-Can we please talk in private?- she said with slight authority, but still rather friendly, she knew she was stuck with them, therefore didn't want to upset anyone.

-Please don't let her stray you away from your life purpose,- whispered one of them and all previous censers has disappeared leaving them both alone. Marie sat on the ground and patted for Karis so sit near her.

-Each censer is different, don't listen to them, their words has truth, but its not absolute,- she said. Her voice sounded so sad, that it made Karis feel uneasy, as if she wanted nothing more, but to comfort their. 

-What if i don't want to be the saviour? What if i want to return to calm and peaceful life?- Marie attitude made Karis believe she is safe to express all of her concerns,- i am just but a human, i don't want to get involved into this supernatural nonsense. I am not fit enough to run, i have no experience, i cant even call out the censer,- she felt panic creeping up her spine, paralyzing her, but Marie placed her hand on hers sending calming warmth. 

It was such a weird feeling as she didn't physically felt the touch, but she could feel warmth of her hands. At least after death they weren't some cold clammy ghouls that would make their afterlife purpose into luring others into this cult that believes they can save the world. 

-Look, i will not for your opinion, but i will give you my point of view,- she gave her encouraging smile.