Review Detail of shin_rae_miu in Journey Of False God
Review detail
the character's interaction is a bit crude and unnatural. everything happened too fast, like you could probably have written a ten chapter prologue, everything the mc say and requested just straight up accepted as facts. if you think about it there is a choice you could have gone with, either you ommit the backstory and focused on the mc and aizen's encountering azathoth the arriving to tensura while explaining how they got gremmy's brain when its first used or explain how aizen's and mc peculiar relationship came about, the other would be to expand the time the mc is in bleach 5-10 chaps should be enough to make things more natural and make the things the mc gained not forced plot this would also give the final closure on aizen and urahara's fate that was connected by hogyuko. either of this would give you a breather since you wont have to fix or nerf the mc diwn the line and also lessening forced plots. also, ability explaination chaps should be auxilliary chapters and not included in the main chapters that includes word count.
Journey Of False God
4Eyes
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thats why you should slow down, take the your time maybe aizen and mc bonded in muken for a few years( either aizen is very frustraded and/or angry while the mc is trying to calm aizen down, after all aizen just did the deadpool thing, so you could take deadpool as reference. by spending more time in bleach world would basically be laying the foundation for the future plots. other than hell arc its basically free reign for you, you don't even need to do the hell arc completely as you only needed it to time it to when kazui started or is already opening hell gates. also as the mc is the hogyuko itself the mc is not bound by the hogyuko's limitation as the hogyuko could bypass it as it can make a possibility certain. this is the reason why the hogyuko only has low level awareness to the point that its almost just instinct. hogyuko is a lot more powerful than you could imagine if it really is like what your fic shown. theonly dermining factor that can greatly change your fic is if the mc is the hogyuko or the mc is the conciousness of hogyuko. one is limitless while the other is limited by its own being. either way I think it would be best if you make that bleach a tad bit longer and slower. backstories is very important for world building. thats why hashirama and other backstory characters in naruto is a well loved by fans.
4Eyes:Azatoth from the Cthulhu Mythos is just a random idea in the future they will enter a random world and land in a strange world like SCP/World Of Darkness with creatures that have the power of Gods. I know the story is very fast pace because I don't have any ideas to make the chapters more complete
Will be revised👍, If you read the latest chapter you will see the story is quite rushed... because I don't have a goal of what the two of them should do. 😗
shin_rae_miu:thats why you should slow down, take the your time maybe aizen and mc bonded in muken for a few years( either aizen is very frustraded and/or angry while the mc is trying to calm aizen down, after all aizen just did the deadpool thing, so you could take deadpool as reference. by spending more time in bleach world would basically be laying the foundation for the future plots. other than hell arc its basically free reign for you, you don't even need to do the hell arc completely as you only needed it to time it to when kazui started or is already opening hell gates. also as the mc is the hogyuko itself the mc is not bound by the hogyuko's limitation as the hogyuko could bypass it as it can make a possibility certain. this is the reason why the hogyuko only has low level awareness to the point that its almost just instinct. hogyuko is a lot more powerful than you could imagine if it really is like what your fic shown. theonly dermining factor that can greatly change your fic is if the mc is the hogyuko or the mc is the conciousness of hogyuko. one is limitless while the other is limited by its own being. either way I think it would be best if you make that bleach a tad bit longer and slower. backstories is very important for world building. thats why hashirama and other backstory characters in naruto is a well loved by fans.