Review Detail of angel_2771 in RWBY: Oscar the gamer

Hello, I read the story and I must say it's good, but there are some things I don't like.An example would be writing,Sometimes it is difficult to read, for example, the third person, sometimes during the narration Oscar suddenly says something in the middle of the narration, and that is a bit confusing,What I want to suggest is at least if you want the character to speak with his name and then a colon so as not to confuse , example: Oscar: oh no, Beacon is going to fall, I have to avoid it. It is also better that you end the narration so that the character can speak, not that in the middle of the narration the character says something and continues the narration as if no one had spoken. Well, this is all the problem I had. Thank you for reading. I'm sorry if my English is bad.