Severe lack of punctuation makes this irritating to read/listen to at times. The status screens are also a peeve of mine, sometimes feeling like they're half the content. It's not for me, but I can get how that's the whole point for others. Otherwise it's an interesting idea for an au fic. The concept has legs and I can only hope it gets a rework in future. It would elevate the work so much.
Soapety
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