Review Detail of zak_moe_5413 in Dragon Ball Z: The Core
Review detail
Love the novel; keep working on it and don't listen to people like Hasan_shopnil. However, I wish you wouldn't focus the story so much on other characters and instead delve more into the female main character (FMC). Also, please stop hiding her powers, as it's becoming frustrating. Writing Quality: The writing quality is good. Stability of Updates: I'm not sure about the update schedule. Story Development: The story development is somewhat dull, merely following the original 'Dragon Ball Z' storyline with minimal involvement from the FMC. Why is she just babysitting Gohan and Goku when she already knows what will happen? There seems to be a lack of imagination. World Background: The story is currently just using the original world of 'Dragon Ball Z'. Maybe try exploring other planets and invent new and interesting races.
Dragon Ball Z: The Core
Aeon0
Liked by 1 people
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Thx for the feedback man, but remember, Hanna's strong enough to EQUAL Grand Zeno himself. In other words, if the other gods were to take action against her, they'd basically be gambling everything in existence, because that's how destructive the clash of powers would be. If she were to stop hiding her powers, she'd literally be unstoppable, and all plotlines would be Tree Of Might-ed (See Chapter 43, Tree of Might). The only way that the other gods would dare to interfere with her in any meaningful way would be if she decided to randomly destroy the entirety of... say, Universes 1-6 or so. Just randomly slaughtering Frieza, the Androids, Cell, Buu, and even Beerus himself wouldn't be a problem at all if she were to decide she wanted to do so. Whis would object were she to randomly kill Beerus, but that'd be all that would happen in the end (other than Kai-Shin having a dance party over Buu's disappearance). Right now, the story's still pretty new, they haven't even broken past the Namek arc yet. A big part of the story's development will always center around Hanna and her personal character development (which hasn't gone through too much yet, but will), but I also wanted to expand on the other characters that are changed through her actions. A lot of them are basically totally new characters that were gone, dead, or just didn't exist during the original plotline, after all, and their mere existence changes quite a bit surrounding not only the main plot, but also everything that happens in between the main arcs (Which we haven't gotten to yet). So long as Hanna doesn't trust herself or anything else, she's going to look for stability in the canon events, which means hiding her powers and ensuring that Goku, at the very least, becomes as strong as he was during the original plot. That's going to stay the main conflict, at least for quite a while. Sorry to disappoint.
i understand but this story is more about the other character and not about the FMC is so boring i like the idea but you gave her to much power.
Aeon0:Thx for the feedback man, but remember, Hanna's strong enough to EQUAL Grand Zeno himself. In other words, if the other gods were to take action against her, they'd basically be gambling everything in existence, because that's how destructive the clash of powers would be. If she were to stop hiding her powers, she'd literally be unstoppable, and all plotlines would be Tree Of Might-ed (See Chapter 43, Tree of Might). The only way that the other gods would dare to interfere with her in any meaningful way would be if she decided to randomly destroy the entirety of... say, Universes 1-6 or so. Just randomly slaughtering Frieza, the Androids, Cell, Buu, and even Beerus himself wouldn't be a problem at all if she were to decide she wanted to do so. Whis would object were she to randomly kill Beerus, but that'd be all that would happen in the end (other than Kai-Shin having a dance party over Buu's disappearance). Right now, the story's still pretty new, they haven't even broken past the Namek arc yet. A big part of the story's development will always center around Hanna and her personal character development (which hasn't gone through too much yet, but will), but I also wanted to expand on the other characters that are changed through her actions. A lot of them are basically totally new characters that were gone, dead, or just didn't exist during the original plotline, after all, and their mere existence changes quite a bit surrounding not only the main plot, but also everything that happens in between the main arcs (Which we haven't gotten to yet). So long as Hanna doesn't trust herself or anything else, she's going to look for stability in the canon events, which means hiding her powers and ensuring that Goku, at the very least, becomes as strong as he was during the original plot. That's going to stay the main conflict, at least for quite a while. Sorry to disappoint.