Review Detail of SirRandom in Adventure Time: Shadow Elemental

Its been a long time and I've gotten much better at writing, but the first 15 or so chapters(some not posted yet) are kinda... bad(?), like they're ok, but just that, ok. I can write better now, when I say I've gotten better I mean it, to the point where I cant read other peoples stories without automatically being conscious of every mistake, inconsistency, bad piece of dialogue, bland character design and so on. Its a curse.