Review Detail of Taste_The_Rainbow_8941 in Reborn as a Diablos in fate?!
Review detail
Having read up to chapter 18, I think I'm qualified enough to rate this book.As of chapter 18, these are all the things I have to say, I'll list them below.1. The pacing and length of the chapters are way too slow and short. As of chapter 18, apparently, only 2-3 days have passed since Mc's rebirth.2. The grammar is straight up horrendous, and it doesn't even seem like a narration. It feels like a summary of the story that the author is just writing down and publishing. At most points in the story, the author is only making comparisons with other things describing what the Mc is doing, which in my opinion is not bad, but he does it almost every paragraph and it's getting repetitive and annoying to read all the time. The comparisons are quite ludicrous. Forgive me, for I have forgotten what the term is called in English, for I've finished school for a while now.3. The fight scenes are very lackluster and boring, and I just scan through them with the most bored look gracing my face.4. The author seems to lack a lot when it comes to writing ability and I hope he learns from this and gets better, I only kept reading cause I happened to like both monster hunters and fate and him bringing those ideas together drew in my attention, but I was severely disappointed when I started reading.I hope the author can improve his writing and Grammer in general. Don't forget to use your capital letters and apostrophes. You're not doing that a lot.I had a lot more than this to say, but I seemed to have forgotten, so just go with that for now đ
Reborn as a Diablos in fate?!
NUTTER_BUTTER
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yeah I get what you mean about typing it in two paragraphs. But I put the comparison in to kinda awe the mind but I didn't know it was annoying for it appearing so much. For the grammer I believe I've gotten better around chapter 20 but I'll also admit that I am missing some stuff, and the short chapters end now I've dedicated myself to posting normal length or almost normal length chapters. The fight scenes are definitely lackluster, I can say I'm not good at making fight scenes because I noticed that the mc is basically like a wyvern from mh because he does the same moves in almost every fight.
Taste_The_Rainbow_8941:wonder why the bloody review came out like this? I legit wrote them in paragraphs with 2 spaces in betweenimage
Taste_The_Rainbow_8941:wonder why the bloody review came out like this? I legit wrote them in paragraphs with 2 spaces in betweenimage
NUTTER_BUTTER:also for the first point I shouldn't say but secret "plot"image
yeah honestly i think the title of the story should be changed too. mcâs gimmick is evolving as a monster right? he wonât stay as a diablos for long because diablos are kinda low tier even in monster hunters own universe i assume?? i think a title like âIâm a monster in fateâ or âNow Iâm a Monster in Fateâ or âIsekaiâd into Fate as a Monsterâwouldâve been far more better. i think the complaints about mcâs way of fighting the exact same way are right but mc is still fairly ignorant of the setting as heâs had nobody to talk to since entering fate so having him suffer some setbacks and then move on from there might be the best way of creating character growth. Really the mc needs some wakeup call so he can stop playing around. I also think it was a little strange how the mc randomly killing the villagers at that watering hole/oasis was such a short mention. There shouldâve been a little more care put into that such as mc atleast trying to communicate with the villagers or scare them away. him just killing them that quickly shouldâve been noticed by the mc consciousness and led him doing some introspection atleast a monologue or atleast anything really? it did feel like it was rushed too early. i think it would have been different had you given those nameless villagers some more backstory,internal monologues and pov from their end as i felt as a writer that wouldâve been a good chance to show off some more world building. iâm myself im not a good writer but its the little things like making the audience atleast somewhat have a level of care for the mooks and setting that matter. merely telling us they were mooks/villagers a and b isnt enough its better to show us.
NUTTER_BUTTER:yeah I get what you mean about typing it in two paragraphs. But I put the comparison in to kinda awe the mind but I didn't know it was annoying for it appearing so much. For the grammer I believe I've gotten better around chapter 20 but I'll also admit that I am missing some stuff, and the short chapters end now I've dedicated myself to posting normal length or almost normal length chapters. The fight scenes are definitely lackluster, I can say I'm not good at making fight scenes because I noticed that the mc is basically like a wyvern from mh because he does the same moves in almost every fight.
I'm gonna keep the title not only because it's my first fanfic but also because I like it. For the Mc I do think that maybe the killing was a bit rushed but I do keep in mind that he said he would basically accept being a monster and the diablos are known for being unreasonably territorial. For the villagers their introspective was the in the Makings Of A Hero as it was the same village that needed aid though I could have picked through and detailed more.For final, I was about to type spoilers. but the title will only change when he is at the final evolution maybe.
Free20play:yeah honestly i think the title of the story should be changed too. mcâs gimmick is evolving as a monster right? he wonât stay as a diablos for long because diablos are kinda low tier even in monster hunters own universe i assume?? i think a title like âIâm a monster in fateâ or âNow Iâm a Monster in Fateâ or âIsekaiâd into Fate as a Monsterâwouldâve been far more better. i think the complaints about mcâs way of fighting the exact same way are right but mc is still fairly ignorant of the setting as heâs had nobody to talk to since entering fate so having him suffer some setbacks and then move on from there might be the best way of creating character growth. Really the mc needs some wakeup call so he can stop playing around. I also think it was a little strange how the mc randomly killing the villagers at that watering hole/oasis was such a short mention. There shouldâve been a little more care put into that such as mc atleast trying to communicate with the villagers or scare them away. him just killing them that quickly shouldâve been noticed by the mc consciousness and led him doing some introspection atleast a monologue or atleast anything really? it did feel like it was rushed too early. i think it would have been different had you given those nameless villagers some more backstory,internal monologues and pov from their end as i felt as a writer that wouldâve been a good chance to show off some more world building. iâm myself im not a good writer but its the little things like making the audience atleast somewhat have a level of care for the mooks and setting that matter. merely telling us they were mooks/villagers a and b isnt enough its better to show us.