Review Detail of RyujiSakamata in Destiny Forgers

This work will surely catch readers' attention from the first chapter. The flow of reading is smooth while still giving vivid descriptions of character and the scenery. But you should consider narrating in past tense, since it's most appropriate for narration. Also, in a sad scene, you should scan for opportunities to amplify the emotions through your pacing. Overall, the flow of your story is well executed, and I really liked it.