Review Detail of 23DY in To Be Continued......
Review detail
it's good so far, keep up the good work. However, there are a few bits I'm confused on and would like to criticise: 1. Have you forgotten he has uchiha and uzumaki blood. Firstly, you gave him low chakra (compared to others his age) when uzumaki usually have more. Doesn't have to be Naruto level as he is jinchuriki, but should not be lower than other kids. Then you made him choose fire affinity with chakra paper (which is weird because the paper only checks affinity not picks one), when in the second chapter (I think), he got it automatically with his uchiha bloodline. 2. Why is he being so naive. He has called the Hokage 'gramps' out of nowhere. This isn't fairy tail and Hiruzen is not Makarav. Then there is just the instant anger whenever Naruto is insulted. It came out of nowhere. Sure you may be a Naruto fan (like me) but you should understand that Naruto is hated for a long time, no need for shin to get so excessively emotional. Finally, meeting Itachi. The question at the end of that chapter about power and losing important people is extremely sus. Just want to state that it is a good novel and please continue writing. This was only to point some stuff I would like to address. By the way, considering Hanabi is joining early, does that mean she will be romantic interest?
To Be Continued......
NoLongerExists
Liked by 10 people
LIKEReplies5
Thanks for the review! To be honest, I wrote the first few chapters like a year ago and gave up on it, I recently started getting back into it and just left the chapters how they were. Honestly, I don't remember what was going through my head when I wrote the part about Itachi, I completely forgot about that part, I was running on fumes and hadn't slept for three days. And to answer your last question... Not telling!😛
NoLongerExists:Thanks for the review! To be honest, I wrote the first few chapters like a year ago and gave up on it, I recently started getting back into it and just left the chapters how they were. Honestly, I don't remember what was going through my head when I wrote the part about Itachi, I completely forgot about that part, I was running on fumes and hadn't slept for three days. And to answer your last question... Not telling!😛
Lycarus:Harem/polygamy or non-harem/monogamy? I don't read harem/polygamy so I need to know
What was this fic? Why’d you delete it? I hate when authors delete fics, it won’t show up to others if you just change the title, so just drop it, deleting it is so annoying, all that effort you made gone, why leave nothing to tell what the story was?
NoLongerExists:There is a love interest but only one, no harem