Review Detail of SuryaputraKarna in Naruto : The Demon Swordsman
Review detail
A fanfic full of mistakes and errors, the author can't decide the personality he wants MC to have so now MC have 3 personality. He just gave mc multiple personality disorder without intending to, the 1st is the 45 year old soilder used as a method to skip charecter development but is never used for that purpose. 2nd zoro the reincarnate mc who should have the mentality of a 45 year old soilder but does the evil laugh just thinking about his plans to get strong and gets excited just to be breastfed by his mother. 3rd and last Yoriichi his shinobi personality, the shinobi name mc gave himself that thinks he will be able to save evryome when the attck on uzumaki village happens, he acts like he knows everything and is leader of the 'kids' he is studying with and in the process losses the last 2 personalities but switches back to zoro form time to time. And in this process of creating 3 personalities non of them is able to be used nicely and it destroys the story it just becomes a fanfic with mc having a multiple personality disorder without and feel or touch to it
Naruto : The Demon Swordsman
Charizard6
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what author is saying is probably like Lelouch where the higher up you go up in life the more skilled you need to have masks on, mask of persona. Like in lelouch he is an older brother, zero, emperor, friend, lover?, younger brother. Same way where irl you need to have masks on for different friend groups, family, lover, etc.
SuryaputraKarna:You gave mc the soilder personality in the first chapter itself, you said it yourself that you did it to give mc a strong mentality. The deadpool exanple is so wrong here, deadpool was shown to be a goofy playboy from the start and he stop caring about the consequences after getting his powers. Hashirama was also shown to be a kind and friendly person from the start, even to his enemies frim the start such that he wanted to be friends with his clan enemy. Where as mc was given an image of a strong head soilder who served for 17 years but the very next chapter destroys that image. The different personality I am talking about of making plan in such that while he was zoro he was excited to drink hsi mothers breast milk while being a 45 year old soilder and then suddenly he is an heavenly genious as soon as his named changed and wants to invite clans to join the village as a 3 year old and no one doubts him. The 2 name problem his how you transitioned it, you mentioned that he named himself Yoriichi to give him a shinobi name, if so it should have been a secret name he uses only during missions to hide is identity of being son of a kage. like kakashi's code name dog as an ANBU. Am not giving hate just pointing out what plot holes are made in the book, as it is in the early stages you can improve it if you understand my point of view as a reader
Well firstly I never gave mc a soldier personality. Secondly even if he is a soldier he can't go on and be serious. Deadpool was a mercenary, does he act like one? Hashirama is the God of Shinobi does he act like one? No. It's not necessary for mc to just have one personality. You behave and act differently with strangers, people you love and people you hate. It's human nature. Secondly the shinobi personality and the one making plan personality are one and the same. I don't know what you are talking about. And I changed the name to Yoriichi from Zoro because people wanted it to be changed and I didn't want to go and edit every single every chapter.
You gave mc the soilder personality in the first chapter itself, you said it yourself that you did it to give mc a strong mentality. The deadpool exanple is so wrong here, deadpool was shown to be a goofy playboy from the start and he stop caring about the consequences after getting his powers. Hashirama was also shown to be a kind and friendly person from the start, even to his enemies frim the start such that he wanted to be friends with his clan enemy. Where as mc was given an image of a strong head soilder who served for 17 years but the very next chapter destroys that image. The different personality I am talking about of making plan in such that while he was zoro he was excited to drink hsi mothers breast milk while being a 45 year old soilder and then suddenly he is an heavenly genious as soon as his named changed and wants to invite clans to join the village as a 3 year old and no one doubts him. The 2 name problem his how you transitioned it, you mentioned that he named himself Yoriichi to give him a shinobi name, if so it should have been a secret name he uses only during missions to hide is identity of being son of a kage. like kakashi's code name dog as an ANBU. Am not giving hate just pointing out what plot holes are made in the book, as it is in the early stages you can improve it if you understand my point of view as a reader
Charizard6:Well firstly I never gave mc a soldier personality. Secondly even if he is a soldier he can't go on and be serious. Deadpool was a mercenary, does he act like one? Hashirama is the God of Shinobi does he act like one? No. It's not necessary for mc to just have one personality. You behave and act differently with strangers, people you love and people you hate. It's human nature. Secondly the shinobi personality and the one making plan personality are one and the same. I don't know what you are talking about. And I changed the name to Yoriichi from Zoro because people wanted it to be changed and I didn't want to go and edit every single every chapter.
trueidiocy_577:what author is saying is probably like Lelouch where the higher up you go up in life the more skilled you need to have masks on, mask of persona. Like in lelouch he is an older brother, zero, emperor, friend, lover?, younger brother. Same way where irl you need to have masks on for different friend groups, family, lover, etc.
Charizard6:Well firstly I never gave mc a soldier personality. Secondly even if he is a soldier he can't go on and be serious. Deadpool was a mercenary, does he act like one? Hashirama is the God of Shinobi does he act like one? No. It's not necessary for mc to just have one personality. You behave and act differently with strangers, people you love and people you hate. It's human nature. Secondly the shinobi personality and the one making plan personality are one and the same. I don't know what you are talking about. And I changed the name to Yoriichi from Zoro because people wanted it to be changed and I didn't want to go and edit every single every chapter.
SuryaputraKarna:You gave mc the soilder personality in the first chapter itself, you said it yourself that you did it to give mc a strong mentality. The deadpool exanple is so wrong here, deadpool was shown to be a goofy playboy from the start and he stop caring about the consequences after getting his powers. Hashirama was also shown to be a kind and friendly person from the start, even to his enemies frim the start such that he wanted to be friends with his clan enemy. Where as mc was given an image of a strong head soilder who served for 17 years but the very next chapter destroys that image. The different personality I am talking about of making plan in such that while he was zoro he was excited to drink hsi mothers breast milk while being a 45 year old soilder and then suddenly he is an heavenly genious as soon as his named changed and wants to invite clans to join the village as a 3 year old and no one doubts him. The 2 name problem his how you transitioned it, you mentioned that he named himself Yoriichi to give him a shinobi name, if so it should have been a secret name he uses only during missions to hide is identity of being son of a kage. like kakashi's code name dog as an ANBU. Am not giving hate just pointing out what plot holes are made in the book, as it is in the early stages you can improve it if you understand my point of view as a reader
GyroJapster:Finally, a reviewer that calls out the authors self-indulgent bs.
SuryaputraKarna:You gave mc the soilder personality in the first chapter itself, you said it yourself that you did it to give mc a strong mentality. The deadpool exanple is so wrong here, deadpool was shown to be a goofy playboy from the start and he stop caring about the consequences after getting his powers. Hashirama was also shown to be a kind and friendly person from the start, even to his enemies frim the start such that he wanted to be friends with his clan enemy. Where as mc was given an image of a strong head soilder who served for 17 years but the very next chapter destroys that image. The different personality I am talking about of making plan in such that while he was zoro he was excited to drink hsi mothers breast milk while being a 45 year old soilder and then suddenly he is an heavenly genious as soon as his named changed and wants to invite clans to join the village as a 3 year old and no one doubts him. The 2 name problem his how you transitioned it, you mentioned that he named himself Yoriichi to give him a shinobi name, if so it should have been a secret name he uses only during missions to hide is identity of being son of a kage. like kakashi's code name dog as an ANBU. Am not giving hate just pointing out what plot holes are made in the book, as it is in the early stages you can improve it if you understand my point of view as a reader
CrownClown666:Not the review we asked for, but the. one we needed.image