Review Detail of NoCall in REMOVED2
Review detail
Not bad of a read. In a sense it is a nice alternative scenario for One Piece. Brings some OOMPH. I like how it is progressing so far 👍 Senju Hashirama in this Verse is tolerable. Perfecting the personality can never be perfect, but you slip in some *good* vibes here and there. I am more satisficed and have more interest with his interference into the plot. And so far I an enjoying it 👌
REMOVED2
GodaSensei
Liked by 2 people
LIKEReplies5
3.6/5 For some improvement... a more sentence structure. You have a lot of dialogue interaction which is very noticeable to each line and that makes up most of your chapters. A small... lets say distaste because there is no "body" of paragraphs. Don't take it to heart because I am mostly use to this kind of writing. Plus I am mostly an armature into my knowledge so far. Haha. A "body" can contain at most up to 5 sentences into its structure or more depending on scenario. Theme, Actions, Background, etc. which is common to know what to phrase in the structure. BUT. It can vary since there is a lot to write about and what to keep in mind due to describing all these "scenarios". A lot can happen in a single paragraph and help add more word count. Or you can "deescalate" the situation with smaller paragraphs to help order things out. *Quality over Quantity and vise versa.* You have the freedom to sort your structure, but of course it needs to make sense of the "flow". Like your dialogues are in "flow" of each other, but you still need some more OOMPH into these "bodies". Another improvement is PoV (Point of View). You have it implemented, but it can help lengthen this "something". More attention to another view and see what is happening behind the scene while you take a break off your OC/MC. So of course... more addition to help burn your brain on trying to set the scenes. Yes it sucks, but you are setting up your story and plus even more word count. Each chapter can be an improvement and even be more longer. In a sense... a lot more engaging to keep the readers attention. A lot can happen and it all comes down to you the Author. Readers and Writers have the "gist" of their own ideals of standards. The more your learn and research, the better the ideals and making your own. 😎Of course my own saying is kind of armature(ish), but I am helping to some extent whether it be big, small, dumb, etc😎. Something is something to one. 💕Don't stop and keep at it on what you do💕. Each day is an improvement 😉
GodaSensei:Thanks for the review. One question, how would you rate the grammar? I want to know how to improve since English is not my first language.
Another note... Style of writing differs to a lot of people. To be honest whether you want to change and or improve depends on the adaptions you tend to implement. It doesn't hurt to try and it can also help people be more critic on the writing. Be it style, descriptions, verbs, noun, etc. It can help give the attention if known writers happen to get onto one's work.
GodaSensei:Thanks for the review. One question, how would you rate the grammar? I want to know how to improve since English is not my first language.
NoCall:Another note... Style of writing differs to a lot of people. To be honest whether you want to change and or improve depends on the adaptions you tend to implement. It doesn't hurt to try and it can also help people be more critic on the writing. Be it style, descriptions, verbs, noun, etc. It can help give the attention if known writers happen to get onto one's work.