Review Detail of WealthyRaccoon in One piece: I am Crocodile!
Review detail
I like the premise but the world building, story direction and character motives seem remarkably shallow and poorly thought out. cannonically crocodile was in alabasta 16 years before luffy started his journey, in the arc there's even a sub plot where he spent years sending sandstorms at an oasis town to kill its water supply, if you're instead going to say he only arrived a couple months before you have to explain why he got there 16 years late. there's also this weird assumption that since the shichibuki are cannonically abolished the title is useless? what? it was abolished solely because of the disaster at marineford, just kill blackboard and a whitebeard commander or two and you're golden. using foreknowledge to shield both the MC and the author from derailing the story is kinda the source of most bad fanfiction. and although this is fanfiction and the standards couldnt get any lower but please just spend an hour in a Google doc planning out an overarching plot instead of just copying the source.
One piece: I am Crocodile!
yoshikage_kira9
Liked by 21 people
LIKEReplies3
first thank you for the review, and I was aware that in the original work Crocodile settled in Arabasta right before he lost to Whitebeard, much earlier than in my work. I just didn't know what to write in the time until Luffy starts his journey. All the main characters would have been to young, and I didn't have any inspiration. As for my characters being shallow... you're right, I'm new at this and I don't really know how to write complex characters or even good characters. I just saw that all fanfics about Crocodile were dropped, some even just after a couple of chapters so I wanted to give it a go.
Wait, does the Crocodile in your fic make Baroque Works, a billion people organization in just a few months? Or did you scrap the whole Alabasta plot and make an AU? Just asking this before I read, to save myself the frustration.
yoshikage_kira9:first thank you for the review, and I was aware that in the original work Crocodile settled in Arabasta right before he lost to Whitebeard, much earlier than in my work. I just didn't know what to write in the time until Luffy starts his journey. All the main characters would have been to young, and I didn't have any inspiration. As for my characters being shallow... you're right, I'm new at this and I don't really know how to write complex characters or even good characters. I just saw that all fanfics about Crocodile were dropped, some even just after a couple of chapters so I wanted to give it a go.
Actually the warlord were dissolved for multiple reason beyond blackbeard betrayal. First there was the world summit where 2 kings (cobra and riku) testifie that they couldn't be trust since 2 kingdom where almost seize , then there was the whole -SPOILER ALERT START- Pacifista/Seraphim thing that literally cloned the same warlord while also making them potentially stronger and obedient -SPOILER END-