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Review Detail of Opal_professor in Ruthless Business man

Review detail

Opal_professor
Opal_professorLv11yrOpal_professor

bland. the characters are not explained properly. everything is just surfacely touched. the chapters are way too short, it kills immersion. your vocabs are fine, the grammar too. research on how to write. read good books. can be improved. would be better if you did a rewrite

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Ruthless Business man

Bharati_Singha_7905

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Replies8

Bharati_Singha_7905
Bharati_Singha_7905AuthorBharati_Singha_7905

Ohk I will see about it

Opal_professor: i read again. The main point of writing a story is to make readers interested in it. It doesn't matter if you are excited about the story. There should be conflicts, joy chaos and everything. show us how he is feeling in a situation. give priority to a important scene and gloss over the less imp ones. the writing still feels like it's a summary. explain more in depth. make readers sympathize with the character. we don't want to read about a random nobody. create that connection.
Bharati_Singha_7905
Bharati_Singha_7905AuthorBharati_Singha_7905

Thanx for your advice I will try to improve

Bharati_Singha_7905
Bharati_Singha_7905AuthorBharati_Singha_7905

Rewrite In which chapter you think we should do a rewrite . Waiting for your reply

Bharati_Singha_7905
Bharati_Singha_7905AuthorBharati_Singha_7905

I had made changes on my mistake now you can read from chapter no 1 and see the changes

Opal_professor
Opal_professorLv1Opal_professor

i read again. The main point of writing a story is to make readers interested in it. It doesn't matter if you are excited about the story. There should be conflicts, joy chaos and everything. show us how he is feeling in a situation. give priority to a important scene and gloss over the less imp ones. the writing still feels like it's a summary. explain more in depth. make readers sympathize with the character. we don't want to read about a random nobody. create that connection.

Bharati_Singha_7905:Rewrite In which chapter you think we should do a rewrite . Waiting for your reply
Young_fruit_Smiley
Young_fruit_SmileyLv14Young_fruit_Smiley

good advice.....

Opal_professor: i read again. The main point of writing a story is to make readers interested in it. It doesn't matter if you are excited about the story. There should be conflicts, joy chaos and everything. show us how he is feeling in a situation. give priority to a important scene and gloss over the less imp ones. the writing still feels like it's a summary. explain more in depth. make readers sympathize with the character. we don't want to read about a random nobody. create that connection.
Bharati_Singha_7905
Bharati_Singha_7905AuthorBharati_Singha_7905

Man I had changed my summary and I am going to add some gods like being to make the story more interesting. If you have more advice pls comment because of your advice I can see my book's are becoming better

Sushil_Sagolsem
Sushil_SagolsemLv2Sushil_Sagolsem

remember me I am here again with a new story and honestly to say I Have a new story with a new idea to see it this time I am ready

Opal_professor: i read again. The main point of writing a story is to make readers interested in it. It doesn't matter if you are excited about the story. There should be conflicts, joy chaos and everything. show us how he is feeling in a situation. give priority to a important scene and gloss over the less imp ones. the writing still feels like it's a summary. explain more in depth. make readers sympathize with the character. we don't want to read about a random nobody. create that connection.