Realistic comments here I was very excited about the power he was going to have but ended up being disappointed. The writing is childish, the MC is weird and his feelings useless in the moments used, MC is already trying to control himself when he has just woken up in the middle of a genocide, in short everything is badly organized.
Cedric_7512
Liked by 27 people
LIKETheMotherLand:How to write engaging descriptions: Make descriptions more memorable and engaging. Avoid cliches. Focus on details specific to the point of view: How does the point of view character perceive the world? Example: âHow do you describe a werewolf?â Is the wrong question; âHow does the protagonist see a werewolf?â is the question. The answer is: âIt depends on whether they are a werewolf-hunter or someone trying to run away.â Example text: âShe breathed in. The creatureâs musk was there, like a wet dog.â The protagonist comparing the creature to a wet dog tell readers how she doesnât have much empathy for werewolves. How they are nothing but dogs to her. Include the senses: Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory details add a visceral dimension to a scene, inspiring emotion from readers. Favor strong verbs and adjectives: Verbs and adjectives feel âstrongâ when they evoke a feeling or give a new way of thinking. Attempt to replace âwasâ with a stronger verb or adjective. Example sentence: She was even more irritated because the afternoon heat was on her, and her too-frilly dress was sticking to her skin. Improved version with verbs and adjectives: Her irritation only festered as the afternoon heat bore down, and her too-frilly dress shrink-wrapped her skin. Donât replace âwasâ in every instance, but if you want to spice up a descriptive moment, replacing âwasâ is an easy fix. Move the narrative forward: Good description advances the story forward. It relates to whatever the character is thinking or doing in the scene. Donât describe everything: Use a descriptive style that fits with the characterâs perspective, the overall tone of the story, and the type of scene youâre writing. The job of the author is not just to describe a scene or show us whatâs there but to contextualize it for the reader, to show us what matters.
How to write engaging descriptions: Make descriptions more memorable and engaging. Avoid cliches. Focus on details specific to the point of view: How does the point of view character perceive the world? Example: âHow do you describe a werewolf?â Is the wrong question; âHow does the protagonist see a werewolf?â is the question. The answer is: âIt depends on whether they are a werewolf-hunter or someone trying to run away.â Example text: âShe breathed in. The creatureâs musk was there, like a wet dog.â The protagonist comparing the creature to a wet dog tell readers how she doesnât have much empathy for werewolves. How they are nothing but dogs to her. Include the senses: Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory details add a visceral dimension to a scene, inspiring emotion from readers. Favor strong verbs and adjectives: Verbs and adjectives feel âstrongâ when they evoke a feeling or give a new way of thinking. Attempt to replace âwasâ with a stronger verb or adjective. Example sentence: She was even more irritated because the afternoon heat was on her, and her too-frilly dress was sticking to her skin. Improved version with verbs and adjectives: Her irritation only festered as the afternoon heat bore down, and her too-frilly dress shrink-wrapped her skin. Donât replace âwasâ in every instance, but if you want to spice up a descriptive moment, replacing âwasâ is an easy fix. Move the narrative forward: Good description advances the story forward. It relates to whatever the character is thinking or doing in the scene. Donât describe everything: Use a descriptive style that fits with the characterâs perspective, the overall tone of the story, and the type of scene youâre writing. The job of the author is not just to describe a scene or show us whatâs there but to contextualize it for the reader, to show us what matters.
Cedric_7512:How would you change it then? I'd do well with some tips my friend
TheMotherLand:How to write engaging descriptions: Make descriptions more memorable and engaging. Avoid cliches. Focus on details specific to the point of view: How does the point of view character perceive the world? Example: âHow do you describe a werewolf?â Is the wrong question; âHow does the protagonist see a werewolf?â is the question. The answer is: âIt depends on whether they are a werewolf-hunter or someone trying to run away.â Example text: âShe breathed in. The creatureâs musk was there, like a wet dog.â The protagonist comparing the creature to a wet dog tell readers how she doesnât have much empathy for werewolves. How they are nothing but dogs to her. Include the senses: Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory details add a visceral dimension to a scene, inspiring emotion from readers. Favor strong verbs and adjectives: Verbs and adjectives feel âstrongâ when they evoke a feeling or give a new way of thinking. Attempt to replace âwasâ with a stronger verb or adjective. Example sentence: She was even more irritated because the afternoon heat was on her, and her too-frilly dress was sticking to her skin. Improved version with verbs and adjectives: Her irritation only festered as the afternoon heat bore down, and her too-frilly dress shrink-wrapped her skin. Donât replace âwasâ in every instance, but if you want to spice up a descriptive moment, replacing âwasâ is an easy fix. Move the narrative forward: Good description advances the story forward. It relates to whatever the character is thinking or doing in the scene. Donât describe everything: Use a descriptive style that fits with the characterâs perspective, the overall tone of the story, and the type of scene youâre writing. The job of the author is not just to describe a scene or show us whatâs there but to contextualize it for the reader, to show us what matters.
TheMotherLand:How to write engaging descriptions: Make descriptions more memorable and engaging. Avoid cliches. Focus on details specific to the point of view: How does the point of view character perceive the world? Example: âHow do you describe a werewolf?â Is the wrong question; âHow does the protagonist see a werewolf?â is the question. The answer is: âIt depends on whether they are a werewolf-hunter or someone trying to run away.â Example text: âShe breathed in. The creatureâs musk was there, like a wet dog.â The protagonist comparing the creature to a wet dog tell readers how she doesnât have much empathy for werewolves. How they are nothing but dogs to her. Include the senses: Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory details add a visceral dimension to a scene, inspiring emotion from readers. Favor strong verbs and adjectives: Verbs and adjectives feel âstrongâ when they evoke a feeling or give a new way of thinking. Attempt to replace âwasâ with a stronger verb or adjective. Example sentence: She was even more irritated because the afternoon heat was on her, and her too-frilly dress was sticking to her skin. Improved version with verbs and adjectives: Her irritation only festered as the afternoon heat bore down, and her too-frilly dress shrink-wrapped her skin. Donât replace âwasâ in every instance, but if you want to spice up a descriptive moment, replacing âwasâ is an easy fix. Move the narrative forward: Good description advances the story forward. It relates to whatever the character is thinking or doing in the scene. Donât describe everything: Use a descriptive style that fits with the characterâs perspective, the overall tone of the story, and the type of scene youâre writing. The job of the author is not just to describe a scene or show us whatâs there but to contextualize it for the reader, to show us what matters.
TheMotherLand:How to write engaging descriptions: Make descriptions more memorable and engaging. Avoid cliches. Focus on details specific to the point of view: How does the point of view character perceive the world? Example: âHow do you describe a werewolf?â Is the wrong question; âHow does the protagonist see a werewolf?â is the question. The answer is: âIt depends on whether they are a werewolf-hunter or someone trying to run away.â Example text: âShe breathed in. The creatureâs musk was there, like a wet dog.â The protagonist comparing the creature to a wet dog tell readers how she doesnât have much empathy for werewolves. How they are nothing but dogs to her. Include the senses: Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory details add a visceral dimension to a scene, inspiring emotion from readers. Favor strong verbs and adjectives: Verbs and adjectives feel âstrongâ when they evoke a feeling or give a new way of thinking. Attempt to replace âwasâ with a stronger verb or adjective. Example sentence: She was even more irritated because the afternoon heat was on her, and her too-frilly dress was sticking to her skin. Improved version with verbs and adjectives: Her irritation only festered as the afternoon heat bore down, and her too-frilly dress shrink-wrapped her skin. Donât replace âwasâ in every instance, but if you want to spice up a descriptive moment, replacing âwasâ is an easy fix. Move the narrative forward: Good description advances the story forward. It relates to whatever the character is thinking or doing in the scene. Donât describe everything: Use a descriptive style that fits with the characterâs perspective, the overall tone of the story, and the type of scene youâre writing. The job of the author is not just to describe a scene or show us whatâs there but to contextualize it for the reader, to show us what matters.
TheMotherLand:How to write engaging descriptions: Make descriptions more memorable and engaging. Avoid cliches. Focus on details specific to the point of view: How does the point of view character perceive the world? Example: âHow do you describe a werewolf?â Is the wrong question; âHow does the protagonist see a werewolf?â is the question. The answer is: âIt depends on whether they are a werewolf-hunter or someone trying to run away.â Example text: âShe breathed in. The creatureâs musk was there, like a wet dog.â The protagonist comparing the creature to a wet dog tell readers how she doesnât have much empathy for werewolves. How they are nothing but dogs to her. Include the senses: Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory details add a visceral dimension to a scene, inspiring emotion from readers. Favor strong verbs and adjectives: Verbs and adjectives feel âstrongâ when they evoke a feeling or give a new way of thinking. Attempt to replace âwasâ with a stronger verb or adjective. Example sentence: She was even more irritated because the afternoon heat was on her, and her too-frilly dress was sticking to her skin. Improved version with verbs and adjectives: Her irritation only festered as the afternoon heat bore down, and her too-frilly dress shrink-wrapped her skin. Donât replace âwasâ in every instance, but if you want to spice up a descriptive moment, replacing âwasâ is an easy fix. Move the narrative forward: Good description advances the story forward. It relates to whatever the character is thinking or doing in the scene. Donât describe everything: Use a descriptive style that fits with the characterâs perspective, the overall tone of the story, and the type of scene youâre writing. The job of the author is not just to describe a scene or show us whatâs there but to contextualize it for the reader, to show us what matters.
TheMotherLand:How to write engaging descriptions: Make descriptions more memorable and engaging. Avoid cliches. Focus on details specific to the point of view: How does the point of view character perceive the world? Example: âHow do you describe a werewolf?â Is the wrong question; âHow does the protagonist see a werewolf?â is the question. The answer is: âIt depends on whether they are a werewolf-hunter or someone trying to run away.â Example text: âShe breathed in. The creatureâs musk was there, like a wet dog.â The protagonist comparing the creature to a wet dog tell readers how she doesnât have much empathy for werewolves. How they are nothing but dogs to her. Include the senses: Sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Sensory details add a visceral dimension to a scene, inspiring emotion from readers. Favor strong verbs and adjectives: Verbs and adjectives feel âstrongâ when they evoke a feeling or give a new way of thinking. Attempt to replace âwasâ with a stronger verb or adjective. Example sentence: She was even more irritated because the afternoon heat was on her, and her too-frilly dress was sticking to her skin. Improved version with verbs and adjectives: Her irritation only festered as the afternoon heat bore down, and her too-frilly dress shrink-wrapped her skin. Donât replace âwasâ in every instance, but if you want to spice up a descriptive moment, replacing âwasâ is an easy fix. Move the narrative forward: Good description advances the story forward. It relates to whatever the character is thinking or doing in the scene. Donât describe everything: Use a descriptive style that fits with the characterâs perspective, the overall tone of the story, and the type of scene youâre writing. The job of the author is not just to describe a scene or show us whatâs there but to contextualize it for the reader, to show us what matters.
Not chatgpt, theyâre notes I took from watching YouTube videos. All word for word from the videos.
prettymuchcalvin:Chatgpt is a wonderful thing