Review Detail of PicatrixPuff in The Tellus Mage(OLD VERSION OLD VERSION OLD VERSION OLD VERSION)

This is my honest review to the book. In my opinion the first chapter lacked of emotion... Your descriptions are on point and the balance is there, but the way characters react and the body language is not there. Focus a bit more on how they are feeling and why. Moving forward to the next chapters I saw a slight improvement in thatt direction, yet not much. The plot itself is really inspiring, your writing style is on point except the things I just mentioned. The action is slowly developing which is a plus for the people who rather would take the time to enjoy a good book. I would like to see a bit of challenges for the characters in order for you to build up their persona. They don't have to succeed every time. Show the struggle and how they evolve. People would love to see that a bit more often. You are a good writer and I can feel you really put a lot of effort into your book. I am waiting for a new chapter to see your improvement. Lots of love and hugs ~ Picatrixpuff