Review Detail of Jason_Coonce in God's Apostle: Rebirth of a Lazy Genius

Okay, I like the general idea of the story and I could see this turning into a decent story with some good editing. Namely the punctuation and the grammar. There is a lot of things I caught just reading though it, I would go through and read it aloud to yourself tk help catch writing mistakes and issues with the flow of the story. Other than that? I would add more detail. For example, the ruins that were found in the begining. Its a small thing, but it proves my point. You mentioned how the ruins were a big deal and how everyone was excited, but you didnt really show that with the characters which makes them seem very 2d. Not only that but as a reader I’m left with questions, like what do the ruins look like? Is it in the desert? Where are the ruins located? I am not saying you need to do a info dump by any means, but adding bits of information to help paint the picture of the story you are telling. Overall I liked what I read so far, I would just really go through and add more detail. World building is one of the most important things you can do for your book. Keep up the good work!