Review Detail of Soul_Cultivation in Damn, I'm In My Own Novel
Review detail
Not a bad start as of chapter 23 it’s pretty interesting and decently written. The bro-con nature of the MC is a bit cringe at points and needs a better explanation for it to sit well with the reader. He just latched onto Rio out of nowhere with the excuse being he sees his past self in him. But we don’t know what he was like in the past yet and the parts where he mentions things about his past just feel like he's trying to be as edgy as possible. I think the singing aspect is really poorly done. The lyrics used don’t match the situations or world (like how would the princess of the kingdom have any idea about who Cinderella is without it being explained) and not enough context is given to understand and make the connection intended. Also not enough detail is put into the mechanics of his skill or the atmosphere for it to not feel forced. I also don’t like how it seems like the MC is going down the path of everything can be solved through the power of friendship. This novel could be really good if it was polished a bit. Just seems like a wish fulfillment by the author with insider writing geared towards his previous understanding and knowledge instead of telling a story to a reader. Which I can’t fault because that’s explained in the premise of him writing his hypothetical novel that he got transmigrated into. But although that makes for a good backstory it doesn’t sit well when read by others and ends up feeling lackluster at times.
Damn, I'm In My Own Novel
ImDrava
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First of all, tysm for reading! i'm glad you find it interesting, and thank you for the review! I don't have a second opinion before I publish these chapters so constructive criticism is very appreciated! As for some of the points you made, I understand your view. I can't say much about the bro-con nature currently, and the edgy-ness about his past part is definitely a mess-up on my end, I wasn't trying to make him so much as edgy, but more mysterious. As for the lyrics that don't match, Leo really doesn't know any songs that could fit in any of his current situations other than the first one (the be alright one) nor does the princess know about Cinderella (That song was more for the readers, as most know who Cinderella is and how both Kathryn, and Cinderella are princesses it just matched), I believe that Leo and one of the inn customers had a chat about how his voice just soothes them, and they don't really have to understand the lyrics because he just calms them down. (So far other than the first song the rest haven't meant much, but it'll change in the future!) And for the mechanics of the skill/atmosphere part, that is my fault, I don't really know how to explain it if I'm being honest, hopefully as I write more it'll come naturally and I'll be able to easily detail it later. Now the only point I disagree with is the power of friendship part, I don't believe I've had any of those moments so far, nor do I particularly hope to write any of that (though if I have to, I probably will, but I'll try to avoid that as best as I can.) But overall, thank you for your review and criticism ! It really helps! I hope you can enjoy the story in the future if you continue to read :)
ImDrava:First of all, tysm for reading! i'm glad you find it interesting, and thank you for the review! I don't have a second opinion before I publish these chapters so constructive criticism is very appreciated! As for some of the points you made, I understand your view. I can't say much about the bro-con nature currently, and the edgy-ness about his past part is definitely a mess-up on my end, I wasn't trying to make him so much as edgy, but more mysterious. As for the lyrics that don't match, Leo really doesn't know any songs that could fit in any of his current situations other than the first one (the be alright one) nor does the princess know about Cinderella (That song was more for the readers, as most know who Cinderella is and how both Kathryn, and Cinderella are princesses it just matched), I believe that Leo and one of the inn customers had a chat about how his voice just soothes them, and they don't really have to understand the lyrics because he just calms them down. (So far other than the first song the rest haven't meant much, but it'll change in the future!) And for the mechanics of the skill/atmosphere part, that is my fault, I don't really know how to explain it if I'm being honest, hopefully as I write more it'll come naturally and I'll be able to easily detail it later. Now the only point I disagree with is the power of friendship part, I don't believe I've had any of those moments so far, nor do I particularly hope to write any of that (though if I have to, I probably will, but I'll try to avoid that as best as I can.) But overall, thank you for your review and criticism ! It really helps! I hope you can enjoy the story in the future if you continue to read :)
ImDrava:First of all, tysm for reading! i'm glad you find it interesting, and thank you for the review! I don't have a second opinion before I publish these chapters so constructive criticism is very appreciated! As for some of the points you made, I understand your view. I can't say much about the bro-con nature currently, and the edgy-ness about his past part is definitely a mess-up on my end, I wasn't trying to make him so much as edgy, but more mysterious. As for the lyrics that don't match, Leo really doesn't know any songs that could fit in any of his current situations other than the first one (the be alright one) nor does the princess know about Cinderella (That song was more for the readers, as most know who Cinderella is and how both Kathryn, and Cinderella are princesses it just matched), I believe that Leo and one of the inn customers had a chat about how his voice just soothes them, and they don't really have to understand the lyrics because he just calms them down. (So far other than the first song the rest haven't meant much, but it'll change in the future!) And for the mechanics of the skill/atmosphere part, that is my fault, I don't really know how to explain it if I'm being honest, hopefully as I write more it'll come naturally and I'll be able to easily detail it later. Now the only point I disagree with is the power of friendship part, I don't believe I've had any of those moments so far, nor do I particularly hope to write any of that (though if I have to, I probably will, but I'll try to avoid that as best as I can.) But overall, thank you for your review and criticism ! It really helps! I hope you can enjoy the story in the future if you continue to read :)
You're welcome! Keep up the good work. Any writing is good writing as ideas being carried forward is the essence of the human spirit. But we can always strive to be better if we have the initiative to do so. I appreciate your willingness to accept constructive criticism. :)
ImDrava:First of all, tysm for reading! i'm glad you find it interesting, and thank you for the review! I don't have a second opinion before I publish these chapters so constructive criticism is very appreciated! As for some of the points you made, I understand your view. I can't say much about the bro-con nature currently, and the edgy-ness about his past part is definitely a mess-up on my end, I wasn't trying to make him so much as edgy, but more mysterious. As for the lyrics that don't match, Leo really doesn't know any songs that could fit in any of his current situations other than the first one (the be alright one) nor does the princess know about Cinderella (That song was more for the readers, as most know who Cinderella is and how both Kathryn, and Cinderella are princesses it just matched), I believe that Leo and one of the inn customers had a chat about how his voice just soothes them, and they don't really have to understand the lyrics because he just calms them down. (So far other than the first song the rest haven't meant much, but it'll change in the future!) And for the mechanics of the skill/atmosphere part, that is my fault, I don't really know how to explain it if I'm being honest, hopefully as I write more it'll come naturally and I'll be able to easily detail it later. Now the only point I disagree with is the power of friendship part, I don't believe I've had any of those moments so far, nor do I particularly hope to write any of that (though if I have to, I probably will, but I'll try to avoid that as best as I can.) But overall, thank you for your review and criticism ! It really helps! I hope you can enjoy the story in the future if you continue to read :)