Review Detail of xNoReadNoLifex in I became Walder Frey
Review detail
So far it is a nice concept. But chapters are too short. Additionally, MC is dumber than a rock. I hope this helps. Suggestions: Make mc think through his actions or explain why he is as dumb as he is. Develop the chapter by putting more detail when describing. Hope this helps
I became Walder Frey
dogassnetorare
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Whoa you don’t see it. Just Whoa. Okay. The setting is game of thrones. Strength should not be the dominant factor when everyone already knows Walter is old and weak. He could have easily used that to make people underestimate him while he increases his other stats. Furthermore, he should have summoned the hero first, looked at their stats and then picked a stats to increase. Additionally, spending every bit of store point before even finding out how to obtain more on a consistent basic is not smart. That is why I called him dumb. Unless of course you want to use his actions as some sort of character development. There is more but I think I would bore you with them. PS: I don’t know how to write. Especially not write a fanfic like your that have an interesting plot. Please don’t take this as an insult. I just wanted to give a detail review for once.
dogassnetorare:dumb? the protagonist literally hasn't done anything yet, why is he dumb?
xNoReadNoLifex:Whoa you don’t see it. Just Whoa. Okay. The setting is game of thrones. Strength should not be the dominant factor when everyone already knows Walter is old and weak. He could have easily used that to make people underestimate him while he increases his other stats. Furthermore, he should have summoned the hero first, looked at their stats and then picked a stats to increase. Additionally, spending every bit of store point before even finding out how to obtain more on a consistent basic is not smart. That is why I called him dumb. Unless of course you want to use his actions as some sort of character development. There is more but I think I would bore you with them. PS: I don’t know how to write. Especially not write a fanfic like your that have an interesting plot. Please don’t take this as an insult. I just wanted to give a detail review for once.
Muhammad_Khimji:dumb is not a word I would use. it looks slightly like he is rushing due to panic.