Review Detail of Rin_Nurnia in The lighted lantern (Arelins)

There's only one chapter (since the prologue one doesn't really count), all I can point out is that you need to fix your grammar cause there are many mistakes I found. The dialogues seems awkward to me and the placement of the sentences need be improve, which some of them, I already pointed it out in the comments. Also, I suggest you to not using the full stop before the question mark. E.g. "Okay.?" -> "Okay?" There are some author I've read their works which also did the same thing so I'm not surprised.