Review Detail of Sigheti in The lighted lantern (Arelins)

This seems to me like the beginning of a very sweet story. However, before you read my review, I must warn you. I have been quite frank. I did this in the hope that I might help you progress instead of giving you mindless praise. There are some aspects that might dissuade your readers to continue reading past the first chapter. First of all, your tenses. You switch from past to present, and it makes reading your story a bit tiresome. Sometimes you don’t use a tense at all. Or you use a form that doesn’t exist. (See: ‘begans’ in paragraph 2 chapter 2) Secondly, there’s a lack of proper sentence structure, and a lack of rhythm as well. I believe these are faults that can be eliminated by practice. I promise you, if you continue writing (and I hope you do), then your writing will improve. As long as you are kind to yourself and give yourself time. I hope I did not dissuade you from writing. I sincerely believe your story has potential. The best of luck!