Review Detail of MIMI24 in Destined (Unmei)

The description is the best I read. The story developed quite fast. The MC find himself in a beach without any memory then he make a friend and began to prepared for his journey. The characters need to fleshed out. The mc had no recall of his past and he found himself in a strange place, you could work about his mentality. Maybe he would feel fear and suspicious. He would go to discover where he is and not to plant someone to show him where he would go. The mc is going through an adventure so he could make decision for himself. Maybe at first, he refused to go with Lok, then he followed him silently (The mc is an active one) You should make his desire for discovering his identity his own goal, maybe he would even step over his friends for this reason. If he were to convince Lok and use him to enter into the warden's tower (sorry for the names if I didn't remember them) and be caught then thrown at the Gabble then expelled with Lok. Right then the MC is making decisions for himself and not following the plot. Make the MC leads the story to a heart whelming adventure. All the best. Your description is the best.