Review Detail of Quasy in GS 夲
Review detail
Hi! ive been wanting to make time to review this since you reviewed mine not long ago and now I finally have a chance! this is my first time writing a review so sorry if its all over the place. I've read up to chapter 21 as of this review pros: to start off I really enjoy the addition of Zeus into blakes life. I think often times when a main character goes through multiple gloomy experiences during the story its very hard to balance it out and bring them emotional stability. I think zues in a way has become that anchor for blakes emotions by his ability to uplift his mood through a couple of lines here and there. Blake as a character is clearly holding a lot of his emotions bottled up and I'm sure as the story progresses, we will see him open up more. This story does a good job of making the reader worry about blakes mental instability as if we are a part of his family. so far I have enjoyed the mystery of the world and cant wait till Blake dives deeper into his fathers past. cons: as for cons the biggest thing I can think of is to try to separate everything into smaller paragraphs. I read the first 10 chapters on my phone and it can be hard to understand stuff sometimes. I actually have this problem as well and lately i have found that going back and just separating certain sentences can make the overall flow of the story appear much more fluid overall I enjoyed the story so far and cant wait to see your improvement and blakes journey
GS 夲
NocturnOwl
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no problem, glad to help! yes i love zeus and he does a great job of bringing balance to blakes life and keeping the story a bit happier. and for the paragraphs once I switched over to my computer the story felt more fluid but since a lot of readers only use their phones I think changing it up could help a bit
NocturnOwl:Thank you for taking the time to read through my story. It's very motivating for me, keeps me writing and improving even more then I already am. I'm glad you liked Zeus he was a very fun character to write and I wanted to pair him with Blake. As the isolation and discrimination would be alot for anyone to go through. So I thought another form of unconditional love would be great for the story. The main thing I wanted to do for Blake is to clearly depict how this world makes and breaks you. How a normal person would go through it, what kind of oppression and mentality would form from this and how Blake keeps persevering through it all. I have alot of things planned at the moment for Blake's family so look out for that. I like to leave a breadcrumb trail on those pieces in play to show the development over time. I really appreciate your feedback even the cons. I always thought having meatier paragraphs would be better. But the way you put it helps paint a clearer picture. I'll implement that into my writing style and improve the overall flowing of the story. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it and likewise to you, can't wait to see your improvement too. Just saw you released a new chapter so I'm quite excited to read through it, the Myroc trials have been a blast :D.
Thank you for taking the time to read through my story. It's very motivating for me, keeps me writing and improving even more then I already am. I'm glad you liked Zeus he was a very fun character to write and I wanted to pair him with Blake. As the isolation and discrimination would be alot for anyone to go through. So I thought another form of unconditional love would be great for the story. The main thing I wanted to do for Blake is to clearly depict how this world makes and breaks you. How a normal person would go through it, what kind of oppression and mentality would form from this and how Blake keeps persevering through it all. I have alot of things planned at the moment for Blake's family so look out for that. I like to leave a breadcrumb trail on those pieces in play to show the development over time. I really appreciate your feedback even the cons. I always thought having meatier paragraphs would be better. But the way you put it helps paint a clearer picture. I'll implement that into my writing style and improve the overall flowing of the story. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it and likewise to you, can't wait to see your improvement too. Just saw you released a new chapter so I'm quite excited to read through it, the Myroc trials have been a blast :D.
Your feedback has been very insightful on the flow of my chapters, appreciated friend. I'm going to be expanding on Zeus further at some point in the future, at the moment though I'm building up to a massive part in my story so look out for that. If you would like to exchange more feedback or criticism in the future, or just want to bounce some ideas off each other. I wouldn't mind you can reach me easiest at my writer discord NocturnOwl#0230. I hope you have a good rest of your day Quasy thanks again. Can't wait for more chapters on your end as well :D.
Quasy:no problem, glad to help! yes i love zeus and he does a great job of bringing balance to blakes life and keeping the story a bit happier. and for the paragraphs once I switched over to my computer the story felt more fluid but since a lot of readers only use their phones I think changing it up could help a bitimage