Review Detail of ramon14680 in Eleceed: The Law of the Strongest

Well, the overall story is fine. But I would work on how you write the fanfiction. For example: you are currently writing it like this Kayden: What kayden says (what happens for example he evades an explosion) But what I whould do is Kayden: “something that kayden says” and then say things that happen between just without the () and if he says something in the same paragraph just begin again with the”” I would also work on the sound effects that you use. There are a lot of BOOOMSS BZZZT etc. I think it would be more readable to minimalize the sound effects, and replace them with just text. For exaple you just write the number 98 fires an explosion at kayden and he evades to the right an immediatky tries to electocute him with an electric spear or someting like that. The last thing I would like to say is that I think it would nice if you can gice the characters names instead of Top 98. I understand that you want to keep some characters secret with the question marks but I don’t think it will be a problem to name the other characters. You can even use a random name generator or something. Well that was all I hope the advice is usefull.