Review Detail of ymn_mzn in Oliver Bryan's football fever

Hello Ymn_mrzn here . first of all I wana thank all the readers giving their valuable time reading this story . This is my very first time writing so the writing quality may not be as good as i would like it to be but I hope to improve on it ,and also the valuable suggestions of you readers could help a lot in it as well. Also English isn't my first language so some sentences may sound off or grammarly be incorrect for which I apologize in advance