Review Detail of Nixie_doll in I Became A Vampire Demon

So um...ive read the first chapter and I must commend you on the world building. Like, when I was reading, I didn't have issues imagining the world and everything but the description and writing style—you did poorly in these two areas. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not tryna discourage you or make you feel bad but...sighs* you need to improve on your description, character description and narrative skill. You lack in these areas. Here's an idea. Read some novels for a while to improve. You don't have to read webnovel books. You can explore multiple sites and develop on your narrative skill, okay? Your book has potentials to be great. You just need to learn how to narrate well and one more thing, in a novel when writing numbers, you don't write them as '50' you write it as a word like 'Fifty.' it makes your novel look more mature and better. Hope you get the message.