Review Detail of The_WindChaser in The Bloodhound knows no peace

The overall grammar is good except for the conversations. Maybe use quotation marks? Since I thought that it was them talking when there's a parenthesis but it was a narrator, so I got confused. Lastly, try to lessen the words as much as possible. For example, "3 in the morning before sunrise", remove the "before sunrise" since "3 in the morning" already indicates that it happened before sunrise. The story development was good. It was neither slow nor fast. I'm not so sure about the character design, but I'll give you a four star. The characters feel unrealistic sometimes, well, I think you should start off with them training? Like, show them why and how they became resilient, especially the main character before you show him get manhandled in the prison. World background is somewhat messy? I didn't know where they were since I was confused, while I was reading. At first, I thought they were in a camp in the middle of the forest, but then they're going to climb pipes that could fit them. It looked as if they were in a sewer, if that makes sense? Other than that, it's good. Overall, organization can be improved and maybe start with their past when they got sent into the training camp. Secondly, try to express more of what they're feeling. For example, "the kids huddled themselves together and prayed", maybe expand that into conversations and show their movements, reactions to sudden movement of rats, and stuff. Lastly, edit it as much as possible and remove redundant words. Good luck!