Review Detail of Beziik in Selling to the Warhammer 40k universe
Review detail
Sufficient but not good enough. It seems you start from the assumption that the reader knows about 40k. This is bad in many different aspects. You didn't spend time to present is the MC, you didn't spend time to establish the world, how the system functions ... you just throw in random situations that this guy is completely fine going along with out of nowhere and then dump some random information about unrelated events that played some part in history but do not have more than a historical tie into the present instances, info dumping for short. Work more on these points, at least make the guy discover more of the world along with us. Making it ignorant is annoying but having him explain random stuff for no reason makes 0 sense
Selling to the Warhammer 40k universe
Endlessdragon
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michael_cox:how late is the main character, seems dumb and ignorant and you also don't establish the world and how the system works
don't listen to the other person it's good to explains the potholes that exist in Warhammer 40K and it deals with certain problems although the fact that he goes along with and the computers and cultivation thing that stuff is confusing
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it
how late is the main character, seems dumb and ignorant and you also don't establish the world and how the system works
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it
also if you're not going to continue to produce the 40K stories could you please give it to another author to continue to write by giving them like here you can continue to write it can you please do that
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it
I do agree that you didn't spend time presenting the MC and also that the info dump does at times seemed a little bit random but more less it makes sense
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it
what you should also do when encountering it is make it so the person that learns more about the universe instead of just randomly babbling on about it like explore more about the stuff
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it
it would also be nice if you do not make the character to overpowered too quickly and also please steer clear for the most part you can do political stuff but don't do it too much or it might ruin the book seriously also it's fine to assume the people read this book know about the 40K Universe because that's the only reason I read this book
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it
it would be nice if you could clarify what planet of Earth We're on and why there's cultivation on it and everything and then get to the Warhammer 40K stuff
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it
So like dc and marvel there's a multiverse the prime one is the one hope and the readers all are from Odin is from a similar parellel earth where cultivation was possible due to diffrent starting conditions
michael_cox:it would be nice if you could clarify what planet of Earth We're on and why there's cultivation on it and everything and then get to the Warhammer 40K stuff
near the end of the book that is currently written it feels like he's trying to replace the god emperor not trying to resurrect him or fix the problems more like take it all down
Endlessdragon:Ill try my best also this is more made for people that know it as well warhammer can be quite grimdark in its topics but im thinking of at somepoint rewriting it