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Review Detail of redstorm321 in I Can't Attack, So My Summons do it instead

Review detail

redstorm321
redstorm321Lv41yrredstorm321

This is one of the better fanfics on this site but it loses points in a couple things. 1. Paragraphs are too long, this works when one tries to describe something happening but isn't as effective when it's a character speaking. Example: in chapter 11 when Yole explains to Tidus about Chappu and Wakka to Tidus about Yole's history with Yuna, it is longer than necessary. 2. Most of the story is Yole describing the things he see's or expects to see, because I've played the game I find these more annoying than usual as when I read a fanfic it's with me having played, watched or read the source material before. Besides these two things this story has potential.

I Can't Attack, So My Summons do it instead

Day_Dul

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Day_Dul
Day_DulAuthorDay_Dul

I will keep this in mind and adjust my story accordingly. I do appreciate the constructive criticism and understand since I have played the game myself.