Review Detail of NovelMonster in ...,...,..,.,,,,,,,,,,,,,..,,,,
Review detail
Frankly the over the top premise more or less ruined it. You should’ve kept it simple. Now it feels like any character development and interaction are hollow
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God_Unknown000
Liked by 7 people
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Pythia:He said and i quote..."Hey hey who said anything about marriage. I just wanted to make her my slave, i never said anything about marriage." And he agreed to the test/game whatever you wish to call it until the woman he forcibly tied to himself said "its not a game". story is contradicting itself again.
There is no mystery... or any room for development. Sorry not sorry, but whatever you're aiming for is not working.
God_Unknown000:Dude, I haven't even begun character development, as for the interactions I am still getting better at that, as for the premise it has a lot more to do with mystery, if you don't like that I can't do anything about it.
Seriously, do you really want to argue with me the author about whether something I wrote has mystery or not‽ Yes, it has a mystery, if you don't want to read it, then please go away and don't bother.
Pythia:There is no mystery... or any room for development. Sorry not sorry, but whatever you're aiming for is not working.
God_Unknown000:Seriously, do you really want to argue with me the author about whether something I wrote has mystery or not‽ Yes, it has a mystery, if you don't want to read it, then please go away and don't bother.
"Mystery is a fiction genre where the nature of an event, usually a murder or other crime, remains mysterious until the end of the story, normally with slow and gradually suspenseful clues and hints. Often within a closed circle of suspects, each suspect is usually provided with a credible motive and a reasonable opportunity for committing the crime." here you go i think you need it.
God_Unknown000:Seriously, do you really want to argue with me the author about whether something I wrote has mystery or not‽ Yes, it has a mystery, if you don't want to read it, then please go away and don't bother.
Mystery has many strands, tell me if someone is reincarnated in a world and does not know why and tries to find out why is not a mystery? The mystery you are talking about is basically about investigation and crime and not the general theme that is basically about the continuous attempt to get information about something that is not clear.
Pythia:"Mystery is a fiction genre where the nature of an event, usually a murder or other crime, remains mysterious until the end of the story, normally with slow and gradually suspenseful clues and hints. Often within a closed circle of suspects, each suspect is usually provided with a credible motive and a reasonable opportunity for committing the crime." here you go i think you need it.
Yes, exactly, but it's one thing for you to criticize, but it's another thing if you don't read it properly and come to the person who wrote it and say that there is no mystery because you don't think there is.
Pythia:Nice job author... criticism exists for a reason. Not i am author means i am correct.... good luck
He does know why. To be the strongest and marry the girl he used an omnipotent wish for to "be mine." which he then later refused to do because he's a jacka**. The crime part was a contextual example of the mystery genre. the suspense atmosphere still stands....
God_Unknown000:Mystery has many strands, tell me if someone is reincarnated in a world and does not know why and tries to find out why is not a mystery? The mystery you are talking about is basically about investigation and crime and not the general theme that is basically about the continuous attempt to get information about something that is not clear.
Ok i'll give you the benefit if doubt. Where is the mystery in this story? And no him being reincarnated is not mystery yada yada i'm a dumba** MC that wished for this yada yada i agree i'll do the test... Where is the mystery. If i'm wrong i'll put my hands up and apologise.
God_Unknown000:Yes, exactly, but it's one thing for you to criticize, but it's another thing if you don't read it properly and come to the person who wrote it and say that there is no mystery because you don't think there is.
First of all it wasn't even explained why he didn't want to get married, second of all he didn't refuse to get married, he just didn't want to participate in some crazy game event, for him as long as he ran away from that he would still have two wishes, seriously I didn't even explain why he didn't want to do the mission
Pythia:He does know why. To be the strongest and marry the girl he used an omnipotent wish for to "be mine." which he then later refused to do because he's a jacka**. The crime part was a contextual example of the mystery genre. the suspense atmosphere still stands....
The mystery is in several things, first who were those who transmigrated him, why did the voice want to force him to marry, why does the game have the same bending laws as the game, why did only he find the lamp and etc. Lots of questions and a mystery behind the transmigration and etc.
Pythia:Ok i'll give you the benefit if doubt. Where is the mystery in this story? And no him being reincarnated is not mystery yada yada i'm a dumba** MC that wished for this yada yada i agree i'll do the test... Where is the mystery. If i'm wrong i'll put my hands up and apologise.
He said and i quote..."Hey hey who said anything about marriage. I just wanted to make her my slave, i never said anything about marriage." And he agreed to the test/game whatever you wish to call it until the woman he forcibly tied to himself said "its not a game". story is contradicting itself again.
God_Unknown000:First of all it wasn't even explained why he didn't want to get married, second of all he didn't refuse to get married, he just didn't want to participate in some crazy game event, for him as long as he ran away from that he would still have two wishes, seriously I didn't even explain why he didn't want to do the mission
Oh my. One. the voice being the girls father, highly suggests that if a man confessed his love and used an omnipotent wish to 'make her his' he would wish for them to be married. And in the Chinese setting you've made thats actually very normal. The transmigration part was also partially explained before when the woman said i want him to "take the invisibility test" to prove he's worth marriage. He found the lamp because he was looking for it. Why? I don't particularly care when the ay you presented the MC in that scene was terrible. You made him look like a child with a learning disorder. Seriously i'm genuinely curious where the mystery is here.
God_Unknown000:The mystery is in several things, first who were those who transmigrated him, why did the voice want to force him to marry, why does the game have the same bending laws as the game, why did only he find the lamp and etc. Lots of questions and a mystery behind the transmigration and etc.
naturally why would I explain to you? If you don't mind why you keep debating, yeah it sounds weird and ridiculous I wrote it to be like this, but even such a mystery can be interesting if told the right way.
Pythia:Oh my. One. the voice being the girls father, highly suggests that if a man confessed his love and used an omnipotent wish to 'make her his' he would wish for them to be married. And in the Chinese setting you've made thats actually very normal. The transmigration part was also partially explained before when the woman said i want him to "take the invisibility test" to prove he's worth marriage. He found the lamp because he was looking for it. Why? I don't particularly care when the ay you presented the MC in that scene was terrible. You made him look like a child with a learning disorder. Seriously i'm genuinely curious where the mystery is here.
I agree completely. "IF TOLD IN THE RIGHT WAY". You can't say " i want it to be this way" as an excuse. theres no mystery lad. theres no room for it either. All prior information based around that topic is essentially cased closed when you gave explicit reasoning for it when it happened.... Your readers won't care anymore.
God_Unknown000:naturally why would I explain to you? If you don't mind why you keep debating, yeah it sounds weird and ridiculous I wrote it to be like this, but even such a mystery can be interesting if told the right way.
Of course I am not giving a reasoning for this, so I left a bunch of clues scattered about, in the end the mystery would be solved and for those who read before would start thinking about the information left and etc, so yes it is a mystery.
Pythia:I agree completely. "IF TOLD IN THE RIGHT WAY". You can't say " i want it to be this way" as an excuse. theres no mystery lad. theres no room for it either. All prior information based around that topic is essentially cased closed when you gave explicit reasoning for it when it happened.... Your readers won't care anymore.
You're a lost cause. Did you even read what i said. You still haven't provided what the supposed mystery is. nothing about this is mysterious as i have already explained.
God_Unknown000:Of course I am not giving a reasoning for this, so I left a bunch of clues scattered about, in the end the mystery would be solved and for those who read before would start thinking about the information left and etc, so yes it is a mystery.
so you what, i've been planning and tell exactly what's the mystery behind just why do you think you haven't? Seriously?
Pythia:You're a lost cause. Did you even read what i said. You still haven't provided what the supposed mystery is. nothing about this is mysterious as i have already explained.