I'm going to be honest as ever, as I would expect everyone else, who isn't a bot, to do the same. The story isn't good, but it's not bad. The grammar isn't good, sometimes you don't even know who's talking. You also have numerous sentences inside a quote without a break. I'm not a professional neither is many people. But I know those who are giving five stars saying it's the best novel they've ever read is straight up lying. I don't know if you've run this over with a grammar checker or use the money you get and get an editor; But the grammar and the story telling is off. I'm not trying to be harsh here. I believe this could be an insanely decent story (Although I'm not a fan of girls in covers for a story that has nothing to do with them) ; Clickbaiting etc (I dislike it,) but this story has a chance to be decent. Why not look at the reviews, ask people what can be done. That is what this is here for!
mattfuncool
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