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Review Detail of Passingsands in

Review detail

Passingsands
PassingsandsLv21yrPassingsands

The initial chapter is very descriptive about e-sports and the world. While I can see the story development clearly, the author might want to consider a more ‘active’ inclusion of the characters into her description which will boost interest.

altalt

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empressblackrose09
empressblackrose09Lv3empressblackrose09

Thank you! I'm still working on it! ^_^