Review Detail of Lu_Shui in When the Reader Descends Into the Novel With a System

Hi Worthy! The world background is complex, kudos to you for thinking about the details. The world that you created is very complex and kudos to you for thinking about a lot of details. Unfortunately, you fail at simplifying it in order to allow readers to follow. After 16 chapters, the MC has not done much but I have practically read an essay about Esgardia. Try to spoonfeed your readers with info while focusing on what you want the reader to know at certain points of the plot instead of writing a long essay about Esgardia. It would help extremely to know what is it that the MC is trying to achieve in the end. What went wrong with the original Kurayami's life? What is the MC's general plan? Also I felt that the MC doesn't have much of a consistent character. It is difficult to find him interesting. And you should avoid the POV switches after only a paragraph or two. Try to make a point every time you switch because else why would you switch? Would also help to mention trigger warnings for gore and violence in the summary. Good luck with the novel!!!