Honestly, it's the first time I've tried to read something of this genre, and even so, I have to say that it's not bad at all. The story is quite entertaining. What I highlight the most to correct would be the order in which things happen. I really got confused several times. I like the short paragraphs. It makes them much easier to read. Personally, it could have been improved much more. This is normal since we are all born knowing nothing. Eventually, you will learn from your mistakes and create fantastic novels.
Dream_land
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