Review Detail of Envy_23 in Fate: Dead Man's Lament [Rewrite Up]
Review detail
This will contain spoilers So far I am at chapter 21 and I must say that this is one of my favorite Nasuverse fanfics. I particularly like how we got female Gilgamesh and how she was designed along with her interactions with the mc. Another thing I like is how at the beginning leonis would talk to gil like he has a death wish as he did but near the later chapters he starts to talk with her while trying not to make her kill him as he has started to like his life. I love when he beat up Shinji and gil picked him up and the way she just dealt with the teachers and principal. The only thing I don’t really like about this book is how long the apostle arc felt and how it seemed useless to have such an interaction for oc’s that would be killed on later excluding one but we would probably never meet him again. I don’t dislike it as much as I did at first as it was used to show how even the weakest apostles are absolute monster and also include some character development. As Leonis is a magus I’m pretty sure he will get a true magic someday and I would like to give my opinions. I believe he should not get 1st 2nd or 3rd true magics as the first is quite the cliche and sometimes isn’t even used like how it should be. The second would make him insane like septet h and he already has something similar to it. The third is also a cliche but I am more fine with it being used than the first two but I think the last two would be better. The fifth is like time travel and I have never seen it used even with how op it is. Now for the fourth and most mysterious true magic, this one is unknown so far so I think it would be good for a fanfic as you can make it whatever you want. For any suggestions of what it could be the first theory I’ve heard was that is could be vector manipulation or particle manipulation Another way I would think of it as thier being to pairs and an odd true magic with the pairs being like an inverse, 2nd and 5th would be a pair of space and time while 3rd would be an outlier leaving 1st and 4th with fourth being creation so the fourth magic of chosen could be destruction of matter or better yet consuming or devouring any matter to make energy This is all my thoughts and you don’t have to do it just for me but I would like it
Fate: Dead Man's Lament [Rewrite Up]
Huntsman
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The interaction was world-building, and I honestly wanted the monk to be a recurring character, but apparently nobody likes him... Poor monk. Also, I might have been slightly influenced by Witcher 3 while writing those chapters. I've also mentioned in the reviews beneath that I wanted to portray just how dangerous Apostles in general are, and how fatal a supposed 'Impossible' Quest is. Thank you for the kind review, hope this answers some of your questions.
When I meant the character that didn’t die I meant the Glachiet not the monk as I felt that glachiet wouldnonly pop up every once in a while and even then it would be for a small mention but about the monk I think it would be cool if he became like a martial artist but more related to the spiritual parts of it but that could be much later on during high school years and I didn’t think about showing what impossible difficulty was like but that fits and I can’t even begin to fathom the dificulty in where the system wants leonis to die
Huntsman:Oh, I nearly forgot, his interaction with the monk will also display his moral framework and how he deals with innocents unwillingly caught into the Moonlit World's business.
Also I forgot to mention but if you do a harem at least make gil be a main one like you would for saber and most likely have shiro and Rin (possibly Sakura) as minor harem members For which story you would go between fate, fate stay night and fate heavens feel I would make an original one like how leonis mentioned if his appearance could cause the fifth grail war to be an apocrypha which I would definitely root for( haha get it root.. as in the root…. Please Laugh) As for shiro I think it would be nice if her personality was like the heavens feel version or fate kaleid as in both Shiro was more of a realist than a dreamer like the others but kaleid might make her seem to much like kiritsuga( I watched a video on the four main Shiro versions, it is called ‘The core of Shirou Emiya: Fate/stay night and oath under snow’ by bluedrakma I also recommend making shiro more of a mix between all other versions including the Murasame one so she could use UBW, Rhoa ias, most of archer Emiyas moves, and murasames ability’s. Oh and how could I forget mama shiros masterful cooking that can even fulfil sabers stomach that powers a dragon core
Huntsman:Oh, I nearly forgot, his interaction with the monk will also display his moral framework and how he deals with innocents unwillingly caught into the Moonlit World's business.
God I keep forgetting things but since it’s late for me my mind is on overdrive so I’ll give other ideas for any powers for leonis 1. Leonis can make a cloak or transformation into Demi human lion as lion and Leo work together and this can take inspiration from Heracles / Hercules from original myths 2. Since he has already made an inferior kaleidoscope how about inferior versions for all true magic 2A. Based off 5th true magic he can make a mage craft to instead of trying to slow down time or control it, instead he could speed up his body or if that is too difficult he can just speed up his brain to the point that everything including His body moves in slow motion 2B. Make a magecraft that can transform electrical energy into mana or even use potential, kinetic, elastic, mechanical, and other types of energy into mana 2C. Make your own version of full metal alchemy but following nasuverse rules as there is no truth or gate 3. Delve into his connection with nothing to make my idea of 4th true magic being absolute destruction more feasible as in a counterpart to denial of nothingness it can be acceptance of nothingness 4. Make your own body into a mana factory through NUCLEAR FUSION/FISION 5. Ask gil if you can copy her gate of Babylon Also if you go apocrypha you can have Semiramis summoned and she can be Gil’s slave to keep Babylon up and running to be ruled
Huntsman:Oh, I nearly forgot, his interaction with the monk will also display his moral framework and how he deals with innocents unwillingly caught into the Moonlit World's business.
Envy_23:When I meant the character that didn’t die I meant the Glachiet not the monk as I felt that glachiet wouldnonly pop up every once in a while and even then it would be for a small mention but about the monk I think it would be cool if he became like a martial artist but more related to the spiritual parts of it but that could be much later on during high school years and I didn’t think about showing what impossible difficulty was like but that fits and I can’t even begin to fathom the dificulty in where the system wants leonis to die
Huntsman:Oh don't worry, after the Martial Arts Arc, Glascheit will make a return.