Review Detail of Helldragon_xd in Game Lord's Cultivation System

Overall your system story is very solid. Capable MC, no plot holes, overall grammar quality was fine too in terms of comprehending the story. You already have some experience as a writer so I won't nitpick the small details. I still recommend polishing the earlier chapters, especially parts with the run-ons since it's still a slight turn off for experienced readers. The early chapters are what hooks readers in, and you don't want to wait till your later chapters where quality drastically increases. Now to the crux of the stuff I feel like you could work on. Nothing major, but these are suggestions to think of. In MC's previous life, where he has his monologue in regards to his family begging him for money and whatnot. I'm not sure if you'd ever elaborate on his previous life further, but I personally felt a bit diappointed we weren't able to be much more of MC's personality. For example, Jobless Reincarnation features a similar start in terms of a NEET, but we get to see more on how he is ostracized by his peers and whatnot, giving us sympathy for the character and can relate to the the MC's trauma, hence a higher connection to said character. Comparing this to Jiang Ming, I just feel that his character is almost too perfect when he reincarnates. Nothing from his old life really influences him or anything, and he just seems to be all out op (and he does deserve to be so being in a game in which he's the number 1 player), with no real setbacks. Everything just seems to go his way no matter what to his benefit, and although this can be enjoyable to read for a new reader, in the long run it would become stale. I hope in the future chapters there will be stuff that has real stakes; real penalties for when he fails and they have to be situations where he isn't confident in himself to succeed. This way, not only will his character be more human-like and relatable, it'll also path away from the Gary Stu route. Another thing I wish to sort of point out is his relationship with his aunt. I understand how the relationship develops, but in a way it also feels too synthetic in how quickly she's willing to be in a relationship with her nephew. Perhaps it progresses too quickly for my tastes, and I know that this appeals to a percentage of readers, so this is slightly nitpicky. Overall, in terms of dialogue and interaction, I feel there is no issue. It's just specifically on this relationship that suddenly seems like both characters are ok with it, even though it's written in a fairly conservative setting. From mother to aunt to lover, the progression just feels so fast. Not only that, I haven't understood Kong Ming and his aunt's relationship clearly. This is more or less a suggestion and my thoughts. I like the system established, as it is very progressive and makes sense to follow along. Introducing it later was a good twist. Dialogue and Chinese traits felt authentic enough, and your formatting has been easy to read and follow. Physical descriptions were present for most characters (although it focused to the women mostly), so I would've liked to see some of the unimportant/throwaway side characters have some more descriptions too in order to paint a more vivid image. Adding some personality to them would also bring the quality up a notch, showing that they're not just the stereotypical trope and are driven by other hidden motivations. Nevertheless, I hope you are able to write a compelling villain for the main character to overcome. Tldr, your weaknesses mostly lie in small mistakes from your early chapters, and I wouldn't recommend ignoring them as experienced readers might find them off putting. Your book is a solid cultivation system novel overall, but there are definitely parts you can polish and revise to make it shine more. Be wary of some areas that might seem like possible plotholes, or having the character being too "perfect" that it starts becoming unrealistic.