Review Detail of Cynical_Stranger in Tell Me When The War Is Over: Napalm Skies

Item: Tell Me When The War Is Over: Napalm Skies
Rating: 3.8

Review detail

Cynical_StrangerLv22yrCynical_Stranger

I like the mystery of what happened to her sister. It is a good hook that makes the reader want to read more. Your writing is not perfect. You have small grammar mistakes here and there. When you introduce a new speaker, start a new line. That way it is easier for the reader to get it is a new person speaking and not the previous speaker. Overall it is not bad, and I may come back to read more.

Tell Me When The War Is Over: Napalm Skies

mvrningkisses

Liked by 2 people

Replies2

mvrningkissesAuthormvrningkisses

Nice. I always mark who´s speaking by identifying the character, e.g ´Yvette rolled her eyes. ¨Whatever,¨ she said. So I don´t understand that part. I do know that there are quite a few grammatical errors. Thank you so much for your review.

2yr

Cynical_StrangerLv2Cynical_Stranger

Yes, but the mark comes after what they are saying. It is a lot easier to read if the new speaker's words are in a new line.

mvrningkisses:Nice. I always mark who´s speaking by identifying the character, e.g ´Yvette rolled her eyes. ¨Whatever,¨ she said. So I don´t understand that part. I do know that there are quite a few grammatical errors. Thank you so much for your review.

2yr