Review Detail of YoeyH in Deleted, erased trash

The story has great potential but the pacing of the story feels really rushed. Reading the story in - the beginning using apostrophe's to differentiate but the dialog between the FL and the inner voice would be very helpful. Slowing down the Pacing and giving more backround details about the immediate setting of the FL would also aid in the Story telling. overall I feel the Story has great bones bust a bit of Clean cup as it comes to syntax, background development, missing words/typos.