Review Detail of ILordVile in Re: Life - Business & Technology
Review detail
I like the story and it’s development pretty much and hope for more chapters As Comment to the yacht scene/ ark: I acknowledge that the mc is regressed and his soul or whatever is 23 but I mean he causally drinks and smokes and nobody is commenting anything. I am not against him drinking or such but his body is just 15… and nobody on the yacht says anything to his weed smoking and drinking for the first time??? Also the friends drinking would have been a funny chapter because they are new to it but the author skipped it like they are drinking since birth lol. Isn’t that pretty implausible? Maybe for future chapters the author should think about the age more and how other people interact with a boy his age in a more plausible way on some topics
Re: Life - Business & Technology
Viincentt
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Nice, best sentence was at the end of one chapter where mc is thinking about something with a martini lol. That was pretty funny because hes 15 but behaving like James Bond, pls leave this can also be supported with other perspective to be funny. Further could the age later be used by opponents later. For example to ralley consumers against the company or question qualifications as mercenaries and such. During the presidential meeting with the military guy Douglas there was something like that but could be used more often because its also pretty plausible that people dont accept the young age. Thangs for accepting the critique by the way
Viincentt:Yeah I started drinking and smoking both bud and cigs when I was 14 so i didn’t really think about it much. I’ll probably do a rewrite of that chapter based on your suggestions. Thanks for reading!
