Review Detail of Coconut_Head in Civilization

Hi author, First I love the premise of the book and if executed correctly can be one of the best. However on of the things I have noticed is your writing pattern of “I turned away and I walked toward…” or sentences along those lines starting with “I *action*”. While there is nothing wrong with this grammatically, when trying to make your writing more interesting, it can be a detriment. There are a couple of paragraphs where every sentence begins with I did this… and this happened. A great way to spice up your writing would be to add in complex sentences such as “Turning away from Hus, I walked toward the gate with Howard and Luke.” It sounds better than “I turned away from Hus and I walked toward the gate…” Not sure if this is just an early chapter problem of you getting a feel for your writing style, but it could definitely help! Thanks for the great novel!