The story is actually good and thought wonderfully, there's a lot of tension in the way you write which is good because I can feel how the story goes. The only problems inn your story is the lack of use of other punctuations, if you use things such as comma, semi-colon, colon, any many more on your story it can make the flow of some readers okay.
DaoistFlevoi
Liked by 1 people
LIKE