Review Detail of AnotherAtlas in Traveler Of The Multiverse(Dropped)

So I've read a bit. This is just pointing out things you could really use some upgrades. 1 The english is ok, but could be improved. Sometimes you join together sentences that should be separate. 2 The characters act like npcs. They have a few lines and that's it. They don't act realistically. Example: ruby learns there are thugs in the shop, she's then asked if she wants to beat them up. She just says yes. No questions about why, who and what. Also that instant blush is unrealistic. Another example: the guy from dust and crafts enters basically as soon as the shop is finished. How convenient. He also doesn't find this new random shop that appeared out of nowhere suspicious.