Review Detail of CasualReader75 in The Invincible Corruption Manual
Review detail
So far the writing looks like someone had an idea for a story and only wrote the general storyline without going into details about anything. The only time you add details are unnecessary and don’t allow the reader to think for themselves and draw conclusions from what they’ve read. If its about word count then you could swap out the unncecessary descriptions in parantheses for more description about the world. Take the first chapter for example he wakes and we’re told he’s in a strange room, describe it. There’s a beautiful lady talking to him with an aura of nobility, instead of just saying its his mom, describe her, give the readers some descriptive words to allow us to picture what she looks like. Overall, the story seems very rushed, like you had an idea for the plot and wrote it down but didn’t give a thought for the extra details and just went back during editing and added parantheses to try and make up for some of the lack of detail or lack of world building by telling us about hidden schemes which we should come to know about as the story progresses.
The Invincible Corruption Manual
The_handsome_fatty
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Also, chapter 6 you treat the readers like idiots and feel the need to summarize what we just read in parantheses as well as just telling us in parantheses that Yi Yun and the princess are under the same master instead of describing it to us through Yi Yun’s words or through other details as the story progresses.
Oh! But, I don't really mean my dearest readers to take that way. This is my first time writing. So, Give me some support, here lol. Thanks, anyway. I shall avoid such mistakes in the future.
CasualReader75:Also, chapter 6 you treat the readers like idiots and feel the need to summarize what we just read in parantheses as well as just telling us in parantheses that Yi Yun and the princess are under the same master instead of describing it to us through Yi Yun’s words or through other details as the story progresses.
CasualReader75:Also, chapter 6 you treat the readers like idiots and feel the need to summarize what we just read in parantheses as well as just telling us in parantheses that Yi Yun and the princess are under the same master instead of describing it to us through Yi Yun’s words or through other details as the story progresses.
Isn't it the same?! Whether it came from Mie Lien's mouth or Li Lin's word. I think you are trying to act all smart. but you are so dumb to point out that because it is pointless criticism.there is no points in your suggestion.
CasualReader75:Also, chapter 6 you treat the readers like idiots and feel the need to summarize what we just read in parantheses as well as just telling us in parantheses that Yi Yun and the princess are under the same master instead of describing it to us through Yi Yun’s words or through other details as the story progresses.
CasualReader75:Also, chapter 6 you treat the readers like idiots and feel the need to summarize what we just read in parantheses as well as just telling us in parantheses that Yi Yun and the princess are under the same master instead of describing it to us through Yi Yun’s words or through other details as the story progresses.
What I was trying to say was that it just doesn’t feel right being spoon fed information in parantheses instead of receiving it from the dialogue between characters or the world building.
The_handsome_fatty:Isn't it the same?! Whether it came from Mie Lien's mouth or Li Lin's word. I think you are trying to act all smart. but you are so dumb to point out that because it is pointless criticism.there is no points in your suggestion.