Review Detail of Leylin_Farlier99 in Pokemon - Alex Burns

I am sure I mentioned this somewhere, but I plan for Joseph to have a bigger role in the story. And he has what could be considered a cheat too, but it's different. I will explain it in the story when that topic comes up. As for the MC following the side character around, I admit I made a mistake. I got sidetracked Also, I have now tagged the novel as Slowpaced and World Building. And I mentioned the MC was an adult, but I did not portray that correctly as I am not an adult. But since I don't want to change it, it's going to be an adult that sometimes acts childish.

dude honestly I think you should really consider rewriting the fic it has potential but the early mistakes make it dull. you even have the chance to rewriting it due to having less than 40 chapters. it might seem harsh but this fic has potential and if you rewrite it without mistakes it could become a masterpiece. just take this as a advice no pressure .

Thank you for your advice. I don't think I am going to rewrite this though, because despite the mistakes I made earlier, I like where the story is at and is going. Hence I would like to continue. Also, the story is and always was going to be slow-paced, and it will continue. I am sorry to hear your thoughts.

na as you said you aren't an adult do for a kid or teen this is a good start and as for my thoughts well honestly you are writing so do whatever you want people can give suggestions but ultimately its up to you to decide what to write and what not to write. I may dislike the fic but regardless of my personal opinion best of luck buddy and make mc a little more serious it would be honestly better.

man gotta admit that as much as I don't like the way you write the plot and people but you are dedicated to this. I mean you post 4 to 5 chapters a day. as much as I don't like the fanfic personally your dedication is something else. Mad respect to you

Why don't you write a story then? Seems kinda stuck up your own a*s telling the author to rewrite the story just cause you don't like it even though he explicitly stated it's going to be a slow story and he has other thinks planed. Also he said he writing this just for fun so he can write how he want.

Wow 1 to a 10 in a instant must have got on your nerves seems like you can't take what you dish out lol.

wait I didn't snap did I?? nope I didn't .

well someone here has a inferiority complex that they themselves admit that they are loser.

and did you expect someone to not reply when you first provoke them dude get serious. and yes I do get a kick of of this.

Ok "petty tough" guy. First off you spazzed out from me calling you a a*s must have bruised that fragile of yours. Next you called me a uneducated idiot acting superior and your telling me you don't have a ego? Also I have a hard time seeing how I didn't hurt your feelings you replying. So let's sort out how you present yourself. Your a self appointed petty person you get joy out of making fun of others and you have the overcompencated ego to back up all your insecurities. Anyway I'm out now can't be bothered to respond anymore today I'll let this comment brew rent free in your head knowing your going to read this because petty people can't stand not getting the last say lol.

You seen genuinely hurt

Ah, It's another one of those "Write your own story" r*tards. The guy was clearly stating advice in good faith. He never forced him to rewrite. Did you even read the author's reply? He clearly stated he has NOW added the Slow pace and World Building Tags Which meant it wasn't there in the first place. A review section is to critique, give opinions and suggestions. What your saying is that someone who hasn't made a novel shouldn't critique another novel. That's how stupid your statement is.

I do't mind Josph being a rival, but if he has also cheats like him, whats the difference between him and mc! its like watching a watered down version

yes exactly someone finally understood. rivals are there so the protagonist could overcome them and leave them in dust but here it felt that Joseph is the protagonist. because author himself said that he has some cheats as well. that's the problem.

How is that a problem? Have you never read a multi reincarnation story, or a multi transmigration story where the MC has to deal with OTHER reincarnaters / transmigraters? And you explained it just now in THIS reply. Rivals are there for the protagonist to overcome. If it was easy, wouldn't it be pointless?

Oh good thing I didn't read this one without checking. Would probably end up regretting reading and rage ranting on reviews.

What you said is just the first event of the story. And if you don't know what this fanfic is about? Well it's about the world of Pokemon, not about ash and well, the *main* story but about burns the MC the author is writing. The kid (MC) acting dumb, like a kid I don't see what's wrong with that. for all you know the mc with the adult soul could be trying to blend into what he is, which is a kid, and he's could be just acting like one. Even if the author may have had made a mistake, he could just add some word like *man it's easy to act like a kid again* and the whole event will look normal and maybe make the MC look like a good actor.

dude have you rreadthis fanfic to chapter 40 at least cause after that I have given up on it and once you read it till there you will understand what I mean to say. So first read the fanfic and then reply the comment.

yep someone finally understood what I ment to say bro. and I have to say that OPM fanfic you are translating is very funny dude and with zero grammatical mistakes. gotta say keep it up dude.