The start is a bit rushed with most of his life being skipped over. Writing is more readable than other stories with authors that have english as a second language, but it still needs a little improvement. There is a good balance between the main character trying to keep the plot and changing the plot. It sorta feels like the main character doesn't do much right now, but i assume he will have a bigger rile in later chapters. Over all good read keep going!
Anonymous2000
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