Short review: Very fun setup with good characters and an interesting system. Long review: The writing is overall decent, but the author shifts around in tense too much to make it a natural read. The story development is excellent, with a good introduction and setting up the stakes from the very first chapter. The characters are very well developed, with distinct features, and their interaction feels natural. I'm not far enough to say a lot about the world-building, but it appears solid, and I'm interested in how the author is going to make the supernatural features fit into an Earth-like world.
kpthe1
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LIKEYou're very welcome :). All the technical stuff I've pointed out is more or less about practice, so just keep working on it. Also, keep in mind to not just accept my commentary, but look it up the issue yourself if you have any doubts. A good way to learn is simply to do stuff, but the best way is to do it and then reflect afterward, at least that's my experience. Good luck out there!
kpthe1:Thank you so much for your advice in paragraph comments. I'll rectify them!!!