Review Detail of Yuri_is_Ntr in No Otaku with Harem System (English Version)
Review detail
Now I remember why I dislike your first novel. You ask me what this novel about : Well... Something like this. 30 percent of mc thinking about how shit his personality is. 30 percent of mc thinking what girls personality is. 30 percent of thinking about his future plans. 10 percent of actual actions or dialogs between characters. You see a problem here? Maina characters thought is 90 % narrated what happens in retrospective or bitching about girls/his own problems /his future plans. That's not a novel. That's fucking diary. Of bipolar main character. Why I call him bipolar? He doesn't actually comes to conclusions. Develop over times. He switches opinion. If at first he was against long term relationships. He then just accept it. Without actually liking shigure in that moment. Harem? He likes only shigure but started to make plans. Why and how? I don't know. He doesn't actually receive any stimulus to think that way. System quest doesn't actually give him anything noteworthy. He doesn't come to like any others girls. He just wants to make harem now. Great. That's not a character development, mate. That's an illness. Changing you mindset without any reason - is literally bipolarity. Of course before you need to bitch about it. Half a chapter, minimum. Of course. His constant bitching is what get me mad. In first chapters we see someone who have obvious flaws but have a strong character - now he just a bitch who afraid of anything. And like to bash himself and talk how evil he is and how evil he's plans. Without actually showing it. Perfecto, comrade. I don't if his promised character development would actually make it more tolerated. But 10 chapters in, and all I see is nagging . It's like swimming in hot pot that every time keeps rising temperature. It's painful.
No Otaku with Harem System (English Version)
Bukaro
Liked by 109 people
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The idea is to show that the MC is a bitter idiot who is slowly changing. I know it is annoying to read so much internal monologue and constant complaints but it is part of a person's change, you can see it in the way that a teenager hates the world and their mentality only changes when they reach *****hood. Now, it is clear that the MC is not mentally healthy so the changes are even more difficult, if the change is already difficult for a teenager then it is worse for a mentally ill person with the obsessive disorder who is also a stubborn one who refuses to get better. Thanks for your review <3
As always, you don't need to tell me and repeat hundreds of times, show me his actions. Show me that all those "evil plans" actually have some impact. That's his characteristics and development not just talks.
Bukaro:The idea is to show that the MC is a bitter idiot who is slowly changing. I know it is annoying to read so much internal monologue and constant complaints but it is part of a person's change, you can see it in the way that a teenager hates the world and their mentality only changes when they reach *****hood. Now, it is clear that the MC is not mentally healthy so the changes are even more difficult, if the change is already difficult for a teenager then it is worse for a mentally ill person with the obsessive disorder who is also a stubborn one who refuses to get better. Thanks for your review <3
If I feel sorry for that, I myself have an obsession to over explain things and that affects my writing style, sorry
Yuri_is_Ntr:As always, you don't need to tell me and repeat hundreds of times, show me his actions. Show me that all those "evil plans" actually have some impact. That's his characteristics and development not just talks.
This guy is right, idiot authors like you, who write MC with an unstable mind, are the ones everyone hates, I had to skip entire chapters because of how rubbish it is, even more so that stupid reluctance he has with women.
Bukaro:If I feel sorry for that, I myself have an obsession to over explain things and that affects my writing style, sorry